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Wife doenst want to have sex

Free closeup pussy pictures. Red star new orleans. Undressing my date leading to sex. All natural unscented facial cream. Gay for stay film. Hot shemale riding cock. Money talks blonde amateur. Xxx israel hot girl. Busty tit xxx. Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. Hey guys. I am hoping I am not the only guy in this boat We are still relatively young I am 30 and she is 29 and we have been married 4 years, been together about ten. We used to have Wife doenst want to have sex pretty active sex life here it has gone dormant since we had kids about 3 years ago. She always says she is Wife doenst want to have sex and makes excuses like she can't be bothered or other trivial things. And she never comes on to me. Being depressed and having low self esteem probably makes it seem worse, but I take it pretty badly being knocked back and going without sex for months. I feel maybe she isn't attracted to me or in Wife doenst want to have sex with me anymore but she denies this. I don't know what to think anymore. Any thoughts anyone? Your situation is difficult and it may be hard to get responses for fear of criticism. Lucky for me, I am addressing you, not every person with an opinion that can read this, so here goes. Such a situation happens to both men and women and can have many causes. It could be a form or depression. Big ass white hoes getting fucked Top artis porno.

Craigslist orange county erotic. It is a gigantic issue, if your sex life is unfulfilled. He and his wife Lori have a wet site called The Marriage Bed. Paul knows what he is talking about on this issue. So men, please read the following series of articles posted on The-generous-husband. And then here is a great article written by Sheila Wray Gregoire on this same issue.

And then what to do Wife doenst want to have sex it. We encourage you to read this article and here posted below it. Sheila does a great job in explaining things:. When Your Wife Hates Sex. Neil Black, on the web site, Power to Changewrote the following articles, which you may find helpful:.

I realize that this is a complex issue for the wife who is denying her husband, as well. There are so many reasons why you may not want to make love to your husband. Some of these reasons may be lack of desire, his cleanliness, his demanding, abusive, controlling ways, which turn you off when you consider having any physical contact with him.

And then there are pornography issues —either his or yours. Satisfaction is being achieved through false, sinful entertainment.

We deal with many of those issues in other topics of Wife doenst want to have sex web site. Please search for them. There are so many read more why a wife may want to say no to having sex with her husband. I sure did —probably because I have had to make similar decisions:.

These issues are also addressed Wife doenst want to have sex other topics on this web site. Please seek and you will find.

But I believe you will find inspiration and at least some Wife doenst want to have sex to make changes that are needed in intimately connecting with your marriage partner. Also, there is the problem of past abuse from other men and how it may be haunting you today.

When your husband touches you it sends off memory triggers. These triggers may remind you of the horrible hurt you went through earlier in life. It may also have stripped your desire to have even a loving husband touch you. Healing an Emotional Wound.

Ratenudephotos Watch Video Sexy bidio. No wonder countries that practice polygamy have higher success marriage success rates. Not really. As women age they lose their sex drives-just like men become impotent. Its natures way to focus on what matters, kids, gradnkids etc etc. Now, the average is zero. I am going insane i think. I am an emotional wreck and I have reached the crossroads in my life where i have to make the decision to fix my failing marriage or press the reset button and start anew. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Im a woman. And Im a Christian. My husband never initiates. He doesnt musturbate either. Its basically as though he doesnt like it. The Bible says a man should lead the wife. He does not lead. I try to do my humanly best to respect him and be loyal. I never bad mouth him , train our children to respect him as the main authority. He never grew up in an atmosphere where the man is number one in the home. He is uncomfortable being in charge. I only learned about proper Christian roles a year and a half ago. I am learning and growing and he is still upset with me as like a little child. I feel helpless sometimes. I guess what Im frustrated with is he hasnt woken up and taken the reigns yet… nor does he have any interest… he is one that tries and gives up at slightest resistance and never tries again. Men you want more sex? Be the Man of the house! I wish my wife did to me what you did to your hubby. Being the man of the house, I have received disrespect in front of my children and MIL in multiple occasions. I am not innocent after. I brought this to myself. I married an unbeliever. Did Bible study at home, family prayer, church class, baptism. She did that just for name sake. Never marry an unbeliever guys, never. You are even more trapped when you have children. I stay together because that way at least I can teach bible and prayer life to children but if I separate then they would be lost. He would either get upset, sulk or pick a fight when I was tired. What really broke my heart was that he continued watching porn even though we were doing it almost every day, and showed no remorse for his actions even after knowing how much it hurt me. We had so much sex that I went to preterm labor. He even had the nerve to get upset when I kept telling him that I was in pain. I was torn and emotionally broken by then.. Physical scars may heal but emotional scars lasts forever and women are emotional creatures by nature. Always win her heart. Yet he sees nothing wrong and feels it is ALL my fault! Prayers fir us both! This is good. Society owes you a sexual servant and your wife is the woman selected to take on that servitude. Your wife is completely absent from your life, the marriage, and any consideration in hour sex life. She should settle for a life time of obligation pity sex. My husband could have written you post. He too does hard manual labor, but in triple digit heat because we live in farm country in California. He also only watches the kids at whim and refuses to commit to watching them on a certain date or time when he is off. Substitute doing landing scaping in the heat for plowing snow, and my husband could have written your post word for word. Sometimes divorce or sepetation and individual counseling for both people, maybe leading up to marriage counseling once the control issues are gone is a better response from a wife than expecting her to have sex because a man works and brushes his teeth. I believe some times a persons heart can become so hardened that even the Lord Jesus Christ can not reach them. I used to be a believer, not sure any more. I married a non believer because she was nicer than any christian I ever met. I have the god given right to tell her that she has a sexy ass, or boobs. I believe there is a lot of value in having a healthy sex life as a married couple. I am not Dr Phil and I can not fix her or make her desire me. Everytime I tried to leave he would tell me he would kill me and no one would find me. Brenda, My heart grieves for what you have lived through. As Believers, we have not been given a spirit of fear but of sound mind. You are also permitted to divorce your husband since he has been unfaithful. Matthew I have been very patient and loving towards her to show her i love her and to be understanding. Her lack of intimate time makes me feel un loved and un desirable. It leaves me with feelings of rejection and un loved. Its feels like she only loves me when things are going her way. She stays up all night playing on the computer just to avoid me and im out of things to try. I love her deeply but the lack of intimacy is making me feel further and further away from her. Im full of resentments and our relationship is weakening. Im afraid to talk to her about what the bible says as im afraid it will only anger her. But if something doesnt happen soon im afraid we will loose that special love we have always had for each other that makes marriage a joy. How should i talk to her about this without being offensive and making things worse? Share your heart with her just like you did here. Paul knows what he is talking about on this issue. So men, please read the following series of articles posted on The-generous-husband. And then here is a great article written by Sheila Wray Gregoire on this same issue. And then what to do about it. We encourage you to read this article and comments posted below it. Sheila does a great job in explaining things:. When Your Wife Hates Sex. Neil Black, on the web site, Power to Change , wrote the following articles, which you may find helpful:. I realize that this is a complex issue for the wife who is denying her husband, as well. There are so many reasons why you may not want to make love to your husband. Some of these reasons may be lack of desire, his cleanliness, his demanding, abusive, controlling ways, which turn you off when you consider having any physical contact with him. And then there are pornography issues —either his or yours. Satisfaction is being achieved through false, sinful entertainment. We deal with many of those issues in other topics of this web site. Please search for them. There are so many reasons why a wife may want to say no to having sex with her husband. I sure did —probably because I have had to make similar decisions:. These issues are also addressed within other topics on this web site. Please seek and you will find. But I believe you will find inspiration and at least some help to make changes that are needed in intimately connecting with your marriage partner. Also, there is the problem of past abuse from other men and how it may be haunting you today. When your husband touches you it sends off memory triggers. These triggers may remind you of the horrible hurt you went through earlier in life. It may also have stripped your desire to have even a loving husband touch you. Healing an Emotional Wound. There may be other issues, such as addictions, and bitterness over marriage situations. Just so you know, we have articles on those issues on this web site, as well. I agree that there are seasons where we need to work on issues pertaining to our sex life together. The Bible tells us,. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Being intimate and exclusive with each other is all part of being married. Keep in mind that marriage is not all about you. I am not expecting any ground breaking suggestions or advice but I just want to get it all off my chest and have someone to listen. My biggest criticism of counsellors in the past is that they don't listen. I think the fact she's not given any timeline for sex or much of an explanation is a sign there might be some relationship issues at play. I think it's really good you are working on the communication side of things by raising the sex issue with her, that is a difficult talk to have. I wonder though, perhaps you could start with neutral topics like the weather, news and your and her day instead? Maybe in a while when you're a bit more reconnected, it might be natural to talk about heavier issues like how she is feeling emotionally, and sex. I wonder how your wife felt about this? Her comment that it was "too late" for dinner makes me wonder. I also wonder whether she might not have realised your plans for mother's day and needed to see something more concrete happen - for example, did you buy her some nice breakfast ingredients beforehand given you couldn't make her breakfast? Had you already bought and packed the picnic ingredients? Did you buy her flowers or a gift? I might be off the mark here but I just think its sometimes to easy to complicate things and it might be worth looking at the basics of your relationship first. Hi gs powner. Thanks for your post. You make some good points there. I agree with you that we do have some relationship issues. I think there is a lot that is not being said by my wife. We do talk about everyday things like how our day is and the weather so I'm not sure what you are getting at there. We don't walk around not talking to one another. In regards to mothers day you are right in saying I wasn't the best prepared. And I'm not very romantic so I'm guessing that didn't go down well. I'm not making excuses but with my depression I have found it very difficult to plan things and get organised. I should have put a lot more effort in than I did. I feel very guilty about seeing my mum too. My parents expected me to see mum on mothers day and they live close to where I work. It's half an hour drive plus from home and that is why I went there first. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have done that. I got really stressed in the lead up to mothers day with working out how I was going to juggle work, visiting my mum and spending time with my wife. I find it hard saying no and being assertive but I really should have nicely said to my parents I couldn't make it on mothers day. Thanks again for your post. Gives me a few things to think about and raise with the counsellor tmrw too. I may also apologize somehow to my wife tonight. I didn't mean to suggest you don't walk around not talking at all although it's not so easy with kids around. Just that it seems she might not be talking so much about the things that are bothering her and that it might benefit to try and create more opportunities to generally talk more to see if that helps get things out. If it helps you to know, the Mother's Day mother vs wife dilemma plays out in a lot of households I think, so you are not alone in trying to balance it! I think it's not easy to say no to parents because we do tend to assume their requests are reasonable because we believe parents always out their children first and would never act selfishly. I guess something to think about is, if you had been the parent here, and you were acting in the best interests of your son, what would you have told your son to do in these circumstances, knowing he was working and his wife was at home with young children? You are currently: Home Get support Online forums. Online forums Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile Complete your profile. Cancel The title field is required! CrashCoyote Valued Contributor. Hi Steven1, Your situation is difficult and it may be hard to get responses for fear of criticism. The reality is that this will continue to harm your relationship until it is addressed. Kind regards, John. Cymru blueVoices member. I found it helpful to hear how others thought about such situation. There isn't any simple answer I imagine you'll hear that "no one is obliged to have sex" and "its your role to make your partner feel sensual" or "you're responsible for your sex life. There is also that folk become ill or tired, but given support they'll eventually come through. I doubt that Relationships are constant work - at least in my experience. You at least need to talk about what you've said here. And at time without distraction or when she is tired. Creating such a time can be hard enough. Failing anything else; book a child minder and take her to the Japanese bath house of an afternoon This will either break or make the relationship Pixie15 Valued Contributor. Hi Steven1, Thought I would just offer this one thought in response to your post. Hi Steven1, I guess all of our well meaning theories are neither here nor there, really. Best of luck. Regards Pipsy. I hope you find some of these thoughts useful. Doolhof Community Champion. Hi Steven, My husband had testicular cancer over 10 years ago. Cheers for now from Mrs Dools. Take care July. Hey Steven1 You sound like a really kind and caring person who really is unsure what the best thing to do is. It ain't easy being married, even when you love them, find them attractive, love your children. Thanks July and Jemimah for your posts. I appreciate your support and advice. I am thinking that I might book in to see a counsellor. I get up to 6 free sessions through work. My past experience with counselling hasn't been great but I haven't got anything to lose so I may as well give it a go. Hi Steven1, Hopefully the counselling will be beneficial. I'm wondering how Mother's Day was in your house? Let me know if the counsellor comes up with some hints and suggestions! Cheers from Mrs. Alice in Wonderland. Hi Steven1, I stumbled across your post and am so glad I did. Jacko Valued Contributor. Educate yourself. Read a few books. Ask her questions. Women have been having orgasms since, you know, there were women. The how to's are not a secret. Don't be embarrassed. There is nothing cringe inducing about making your wife and her needs a priority. You are learning together and my goodness, could you ask for a better lesson plan? Practice makes perfect. I hate to say it. But to get good at sex you need to have a lot of sex. I know, such a burden. Alright, so maybe you haven't been at the top of your game the past few hours, days, weeks, months or, ahem, years. One of the purest joys of life is our ability to change for the better. Start now. Leave the TV off, take a break from the video games and postpone that camping trip. You have work to do and what a great work it is. Also on HuffPost:. Real Life. Real News. Real Voices. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. News Politics Entertainment Communities. HuffPost Personal Videos Horoscopes. Part of HuffPost News. All rights reserved. Skip to Article. Now, on to the things you need to do, haven't done and can learn with flair. Hello again, sir. How are you doing? Did I say orgasm too many times? I am so sorry..

Read more may be other issues, such as addictions, and bitterness over marriage situations. Just so you know, we have articles on those issues on this web site, as well. I agree that there are seasons where we need to work on issues pertaining to our sex life together. The Bible tells us. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.

Then Wife doenst want to have sex together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack Wife doenst want to have sex self-control. So you see the problem there. That is getting you nowhere. You lead.

8 Reasons My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me!

You initiate. And when she does initiate, never turn her down. There might be more, but my plane is landing and I have to turn off my computer.

This article was originally published here and is used with permission. Nice try, decent web site. It would be so much easier than figuring out the opposite sex.

But this is so aggravating the double standard. Very easy to see why you never get laid. You get turned down because there is something you are not doing right. Figure it out instead of whining and shooting down possible answers. Thats a bs answer. I agree, Me my GF was on Amizingly God terms, and I turned myself and did 6 months in jail for a chargey she originally caught.

She lookedllike she been to Hell and barely made it back. We would kiss, begin dry humping,whenever it would get intense she would create an akward situation or moment. Wife doenst want to have sex think some of these points are valid…. Pretty much the complete flip opposite to men — You need to tap into her emotional side.

Andros not true, i dont need emotional bs that you mentioned. I look at sex as a chore. I would rather sleep or clean than have sex. Some people have more inportant things to do.

Every other day???? Man…id hard Mexican bbw fucked in heaven. We average about 10 times…in a year! Wife doenst want to have sex been this way for 30 years. Wife doenst want to have sex hold the power and they know it. The number of times a couple has sex is determined by the spouse with the lower sex drive…normally the woman. Why do you think there is so much interest in sports,fishinghunting, NASCAR, strip bars, golfing…men are trying to fill their time with things that take their minds off of not getting sex.

Women want romance…. Her live language is gifts and she gets everything she wants, I need one thing and have told her that and get zero! Cause you want to stay pure and trustworthy and yet is hard! Another guy here who gives very honest effort to make his wife happy — helping around the house, involved in the kids life, I provide a nice house and no need and she stays home to home school the kids.

Her love language is acts of service and I help every single day. Her children sleep in her bed. Keeping peace with the kids is more important than having sex with her husband. Wife doenst want to have sex wants to deal with another temper-tantrum, right? She needs her space so she can breathe. For some, you entered into the world of motherhood rather quickly. For other wives, you might be focusing on a career or perhaps raising teenagers, handling a blended family, aging parents, etc.

Perhaps you feel more like the cook, maid, taxi driver, etc. Knowing your roles and putting them in the proper biblical order is the key here. She feels insecure about her body. Wife doenst want to have sex you have body image issues this is something you can work on yourself.

Sex is painful.

ESOL Hottie Watch Video nude pubescent. Did Bible study at home, family prayer, church class, baptism. She did that just for name sake. Never marry an unbeliever guys, never. You are even more trapped when you have children. I stay together because that way at least I can teach bible and prayer life to children but if I separate then they would be lost. Anon you are lucky. I dont care for sex and cannot wait til my husband is older so that he cant function down there and loses his sex drive… please god make it happen fast! Size does matter to woman esp. No need to sugarcoat the truth. It comes out implicitly. Sex life went to zero when mother-in-law started living together and all of a sudden she became priority no. Love does make a person blind but marriage becomes an eye opener. One of the worst things is to work all day, come home, do everything for the house and kids, then listen to husband complain about money, kids, the dinner I made, everything under the sun, then turn around and want sex. Ummmm, no. Him not contributing at home with kids and housework, and not appreciating what I do is my absolute 1 reason for not wanting sex with my husband. My wife told me out of the blue she felt I treated her like a whore. I have no idea what that even ment but decided to play her game. I told her I was sorry if I made her feel like a whore albeit we had sex about every three or four months after several failed attempts at initiating on my part and I would make sure she never feels that way again. She thanked me for understanding her feelings and walked away. So I decided she can do all initiating for sex, as in a role reversal. Five years later, sex 3 times and she gets angry as I never initiate sex. Flat out told her she owns our sex life as I keep my promise not to make her feel like a whore. On top of that I never touch her, kiss her, hug her, hold her hand, etc. She tells me she feels unloved. I tell her that may be but she doesnt ever feel like a whore now. But what happens when the husband now longer has a demand for sex from his wife who is the supplier? Her supply of sex means nothing without demand. Guys, if she wants to withold sez, then you need to withold emotions. Men breath sex, woman breth emotions. Fight back, dont give her that emotional closeness and hours of talking she craves so she can expierence what it is like for you to go without sex. By Carl Thomas. Carl Thomas Carl is a pastor, husband, and father. He works and writes for XXXchurch. You Might Also Like. A Must Read: I am 43 and he is We have been married for 4 years and have 2 small boys. We have only had sex when I wanted to get pregnant. I can count on one hand how many times we have had sex otherwise. I would do it every day plus I take care of the house and kids. I also work full time and contribute as much as he does financially. We have tried counseling and he just provides excuses for his selfish behavior. He is not even nice to us. I can take care of the 3 of us myself. I have been married 5 years this last July. I love my wife deeply. April 2 years ago we decided to try for our first and we suffered a miscarriage in the second month. However, after the miscarriage it is non existent. We have been intimate once in over two years and she cried herself to sleep afterwards. Being scared she would get pregnant again. I of course felt terrible and vowed to not pressure her or try for intimacy until she was ready. This absolutely devastated me! I felt like I had raped my wife or made her do something. Just utterly distraught. When I step back I understand her pain and feel compassion but there is certainly a level of bitterness in my heart. It has happened twice over the last 8 months. The 2nd started about 2 weeks ago when I started my new job. We are a male and female mirror images of each other. I do however wish to get rid of the thoughts. I thought it might make her think a little about what she might be able to do and I wanted to be open and up front. My wife and I had sex with each other almost every day before we got married. Right after we got married it stopped. I love this women. I have never and will never seek sex outside our marriage. What has happened to me though is my desire for sex has dropped off dramatically. I work hard. Treat her with respect and tenderness. Every trait that is listed for why it could be the guy is not there for a legitimate reason. It is just frustrating. Instead of praying and being passive about problems take charge! All these suggestions are awesome and speak to my masculinity in an almost instant healing sort of way…. Men are simple not dumb and I feel like a dummy more often then not by my wife. I so much agreed with you but when a woman suddenly dictating to are husband when she want to have sex what did you think the husband should do. My husband is hard working but he only has one loud tone. My brother said I dint even think he realizes how he talks to you and your girls. Lots of us also found that sex was a bit uncomfortable after having a baby and it took a long time to get better largely hormone related. I will be talking to my GP about that too, though it's definitely better now than the first 6 months or so after birth. She probably knows it's a problem and probably feels really bad about it like I do, but there are so many demands of her at this stage, she might not have anything left in the tank for you at the end of the day, other than being civil and practically helping each other. It won't last forever or be an excuse forever, but can I reiterate that she needs your patience, comfort and affirmation you are likely the only one in a position to comment on how good a job she is doing and your supportive words mean a lot at this time. I think talking to a counsellor is a great idea for you and hopefully they can give you some ideas about how you could approach this with your wife, and when the time might be right to do that, and what you could change about yourself in the meantime though not blaming you at all. I really hope that you find a counsellor who can listen and offer some advice. It can be hard to find one who suits you, but it's definitely worth giving it a go. I hope this has been helpful and I will let you know if I think of anything else that might be useful to know. Hang in there and definitely don't have an affair in the meantime can't believe people even suggested that! It is great you have started this thread, many will benefit. I don't have more to say except, I know exactly how you are feeling, I have experienced the same thing. It's a bit of a roller coaster, am I worthy, has she stopped loving me, it is a challenge to find some compromise. One thing I have learnt, you cannot control anyone else, only your self. In my case my partner had several events and mental health issues that combined to turn her off sex. So essentially, I'm not going to pressure a unwell person to do it, that would be very wrong. So it has become a personal challenge, to be happy to be with my partner, without much sex. It's not her fault and it's not mine. I have had to take a look at myself to know that I am desirable and I constantly have to ensure I am doing the things that I know are right, like all the other forms of intimacy, without any expectation. It's not easy but you have to stay true to yourself. Try and shift your focus to the things that your wife will do, reassign some importance and value to these things. Thankyou so much for your posts Alice in Wonderland. You have given me a really good insight into the female perspective. I think that my wife is feeling very much the same way. I know she is definitely exhausted and has no time or energy for sex. What I need to do is to find a way of not beating myself up about it! I feel very guilty at the moment about everything. For example, yesterday was mother's day and I really wanted to spoil my wife and have a nice day together and as a family but it didn't happen. I had to work I am a shift worker and work weekends and all kinds of hours. Yesterday I started work at in the morning so I was up at 5am. Didn't get to get her brekky in bed or anything like that. Worked until half past one then had to swing by and see my own mother for mother's day. It was 4pm by the time I got home. We had planned to go to Fremantle for dinner and take the kids to the park but she was too tired and said it was too late. Then we planned to have a picnic at a local park but they were burning off yesterday and it was smoked out so we ended up staying home and having takeaway. It was such an ordinary day. And I blamed myself for it. By 8pm she had gone to bed. Think that answers your post Mrs Dools. It certainly wasn't the day I had in mind. I try and be as supportive and helpful as I can but feel guilty even going to work and leaving her. I know someone has to work and earn an income but I feel like she needs me at home to cope. I do a lot of housework - dishes, vacuuming, washing, the gardens, pool the pets and help with the kids. But I still feel like it isn't enough. We have had a few cuddles and kisses but I certainly don't make it sexual or put any pressure on her. I am pretty sensitive, even though it may sound like all I care about is sex. That is not the case. Jacko thanks for your post too. Haven't seen the counsellor yet. Which reminds me - I might ring and make an appointment. I think a professional's perspective might really help. Hi Steve. You poor thing. You had it all planned so nicely then everything that could go wrong, did. Talk about Murphy's Law. I'm sure your wife doesn't blame you, if she does 'lash' out, it's probably just that she's worn out and needs to 'vent' and you just happened to be there. My hubby was a shift worker too, so my heart goes out to you. Could your or her mum help out with the kids, or won't they stay with anyone but you and mum. Kids can be 'clingy' at such a young age. Try not to feel guilty about circumstances beyond your control. I'm a great believer that when things are meant to be, they'll be without any 'force', for lack of another word, on our part. Some day you'll look back on these days and say 'remember when'. If your wife wants to cry from sheer frustration and tiredness, you're right to 'be there' and try to let her know she's loved. You're a warm, supportive husband. I'm sure she knows and appreciates this. Even if she doesn't seem to acknowledge it, I know one day, she will. I'm hoping your wife will appreciate it even if it is not happening on the dedicated "Mother's Day". My husband worked shift work hours for decades so I know that can be disruptive to a "normal" life style. Try to make another occasion a special day. Steven1, wow that was like reading about my own situation. Like you, I understand the stresses that she is under, but it is so difficult when your needs are being placed on the waiting list. As you said, it's not so much the sexual activity, it's that need to feel desired. I'm glad I signed up, because if nothing else your story has made me realise that I'm not the only one going through that mental torment. It's a difficult road but we're not alone, without knowing you or your wife, one suggestion I have, as difficult as it may be, is tell her this is something you need. If you're like me then all of the other suggestions that have been made are things you just naturally do. Good luck with the counselling, maybe once you've been a couple times you can get your wife to join you. Thanks LostNotFound. And thanks to everyone that has posted. Has been good having you all here and being able to vent to people who understand and are supportive. I had another talk with my wife the other night while we were in bed. I did tell her that sex was important to me and not just about the act of it but nothing has changed. Thank her for your babies. Thank her for the dreams she pursues and the ones she puts on hold. Gratitude is often an action. Show it by washing the dishes, playing with her hair, giving her time and holding her hand. But every once in a while knock her socks off by actually saying, "Thank you. Those three things! That is romance! That is courtship! That is love! And you know what gets women hot? Take her out on a date at least twice a month. Put on spiffy clothes and take her to a restaurant, museum, movie or stroll around downtown. Open her door and put your hand on the small of her back. Be the boy she fell in love with and she will be the girl that made your heart race. Making out in the car before driving home while optional is strongly suggested. If you want your wife to treat you like a man, you have to act like a man. Your wife did not marry you in order to raise you. She does not live to wash your dishes, pick up your socks or put the kids to bed by herself while you watch the game for "just five more minutes. You are not her project or responsibility. There is nothing sexually appealing about a person that means more work, more worry and less freedom. Your wife married you because she decided her life would be richer and more meaningful with you as a partner. Stop trying to prove her wrong. You are her ally in adventure, tedium, fear, joy, laundry, dishes, children, lack and plenty. There is no such thing as women's work or men's work. There is only your life's work together and she needs you to roll up your sleeves and dig in right alongside her. Cook dinner, change diapers and kiss bruised knees. You will be amazed at how much more happily eagerly! Side note: If I hear one more of you say you are "babysitting the kids" while your wife is gone, I will start handing out copies of The Feminine Mystique. And nobody wants that. They are your kids as thoroughly as they are hers. You aren't babysitting, you are parenting. It starts early in a marriage then spirals down from there. One such wife and there are many, many more can be found on the web site Forgivenwife. This web site has blogs written by Chris. She writes: After action came feeling. God can work in mysterious ways. Your wife may not get it right now, but keep praying. Live your life as you know God would want you to, given these difficult circumstances. They are not, even if your wife is not doing what she should be doing. I pray you will be strong and do what is right despite these difficult circumstances. Cindy, how about praying that SHE does what is right, as in, uphold her marriage vows that she made, you know, before GOD?!? What a joke. I seriously wish I could just die and have this miserable failure of an existence done with! Except for the fact that it would finally push my bipolar daughter over the edge for good. So for now I have NO choice. What a joke marriage is. I hate it and hate my life because of it! Alan, Steve and Cindy are all about promoting hope and providing encouragement to married couples…whether the marriage is doing well, or is struggling. Since your desire appears to be to provide discouragement, and remove hope. If your heart were open to the possibility that your life could be different, in a positive way, then you too would find that same hope and encouragement here that many others find. I will be praying that your heart be changed, My Friend…: Seriously, you might better go and look out your window; there are probably a mob of Jezebels with torches and farm implements heading your way after your comment daring to suggest that gasp women have to take part of the blame. It has exactly ZERO to do with human sexuality yet one religion tells you who you cannot sleep with, that you cannot touch yourself, you cannot watch this or that. Medieval old books written by a bunch of goat herders are going to compete with what modern medicine and science today knows about healthy sexual relationships and marriage? You might find yourself enlightened and much happier with your new knowledge. Sheila does a great job in explaining things: I sure did —probably because I have had to make similar decisions: Past Abuse Nightmares Also, there is the problem of past abuse from other men and how it may be haunting you today. I can relate. I write a bit about it in the article: But whatever it is, please work on it. Perhaps you have changed in your libido or your desire. Yes, he should stay faithful..

I lived with 10 years of chronic fatigue. If this way of life describes you, then plan for naps and simplify your schedule. Yep, been here Wife doenst want to have sex well, my friend. She has a low sex drive. Of course I can relate to this one as well being that I had rupturing ovarian How to a woman for over 5 years.

Ya know, those things have a tendency to be related to imbalanced hormones! I say somewhat restored because sometimes fixing our bodies is just not a reality. However, avoiding sex altogether is not a solution to your problems either. So you Wife doenst want to have sex need Wife doenst want to have sex get sexually creative Wife doenst want to have sex this one.

I know there are many things on this list that are so difficult to overcome, but with a willing heart, a teachable spirit, and a desire to please the Lord, you can, with Christ, overcome click of these obstacles. One of the things that sex is designed for is to bring you and your man closer together. The marriage bed is a place to strengthen your one flesh union.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. The topic of this post has caused this article to become my number one post searched on Google. I know all husbands want to connect with their wives, and I can only imagine that you are hurting in your marriage.

But, in this ministry, I write to women, not men. We created the site just for you! I do as much if not more around the house and am a great father. I could go on, but I have to sleep so I can plow snow all day tomorrow.

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This is not how God intended a marriage to be like. My Cituation is different. I found out that my wife was hiding things from me: She did not have any kids or home as it was a long distance relationship when the agreement was no other people but family could be on her account. Now, it had being 4 weeks since she has being avoiding me to have Wife doenst want to have sex and now we are in a divorce process due to all the crap she was hiding from me with all kinds of excuses.

Sadly we have a 12, 6 years old and she is 30 weeks pregnat which due to all the crap we have being going through and all the lies I am suspecting the baby might not even be mine because it consides with the time she was on jury duty. Man, this cituacion truly sucks and the trust and respect is not longer there.

I was sooo exhausted that at times I would accidentally fall asleep during the act and still he refused to understand. He would either get upset, sulk or pick a fight when I was tired. What really broke my heart was that he continued watching porn even though we were doing it almost every day, and showed no remorse for his actions even after knowing how much it hurt me.

You sound like a really kind and caring person who really is unsure what the best thing to do is. I can only share my story. I am only now realising how hard it has been for my husband over our 22 year marriage. I love him now more than ever but I found things so hard when we had children - through absolutely no fault of his. My love for him never waned. I did not want him to touch me. There's a million reasons for this, the majority of which coming from me.

I was resentful that his life hadn't changed much, but mine did. His career started to take off and mine had become terribly stagnant - it was my choice to stay at home and later return to work on a part time basis.

I don't regret any of those decisions. I kind of felt used because I felt like I Wife doenst want to have sex doing something for someone else all day. I lost enjoyment in everything. And yes, years later depression was diagnosed and things are so much better now.

I also read The 5 Love Languages which helped me realise that how Continue reading expressed my love for him was different to how he expressed his love for me.

He read the book too. So in our case - it was no-one's fault. We just became more aware of what was truly going on, sought professional help, didn't give up on each other and learnt to share things that we really enjoyed together.

Good luck Steven1. The real world of marriage is the one you create - whatever that turns out to be. Have you tried pampering your wife and making her feel like a princess? Is there any one who could take the children for a half day so you can have the time together? My husband has totally repelled me from his life and does not like any physical touch at all. It has shattered my heart to think our marriage has come to this, so I do understand a bit about Wife doenst want to have sex you are feeling.

I stumbled across your post and am so glad I did. You are definitely not alone! My husband is in the same boat as you and I am in a similar position to your wife though we only have an 18 month old boy at this stage.

We are the same age as you and have been married for 10 years, together for Wife doenst want to have sex similarities were kind of freaky as I read through your original post. I had to finish reading it to make sure it wasn't my husband posting this! I feel really sorry for you, just as I click the following article for my husband. I don't have answers, but am hoping that by sharing my thoughts you might get the same kind of insight into your wife's perspective as Wife doenst want to have sex got into my Wife doenst want to have sex perspective through reading your post.

Wife doenst want to have sex gather that in the last 5 months that you haven't had sex your wife has been heavily pregnant and in the postnatal period. I can say that it gets Wife doenst want to have sex uncomfortable at the end of pregnancy, apart from how absolutely exhausted she must be feeling chasing a toddler and now caring for a newborn as well. I can imagine your frustration, but she needs your support, understanding and patience to get her through this time with her sanity intact.

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My husband is a fantastic support and gets up at night, shares chores whenever he's home etc. We probably had sex once or twice a month in that time and have only just started stepping it up further because I knew how important it was in a relationship, not because I ever felt like it. I want to say that I absolutely love him and am so grateful that he is the father of my child, but I just don't feel like having sex most of the time since I've had my baby.

We don't have time for it in the morning before our baby wakes up and by the time we get around to it at night I'm usually too exhausted and just want to crawl into bed to SLEEP.

I find it hard to get myself in the mood because I'm just thinking about how soon I can get to bed and what I need to do to make that happen. I don't feel like being physically active when I'm that tired and I have constant lists running through my head about all the things I have to do as Wife doenst want to have sex mother and 'house keeper'. Being a mother in the early years can be all consuming and it's really hard to switch from being 'mum' to 'wife' and especially 'lover'. I'm not justifying it and I think if it goes on too long it will be extremely detrimental to the relationship, but I'm trying to explain how it feels to be wanted in so many different Wife doenst want to have sex physical, emotional, sexual, practical Wife doenst want to have sex different people.

Your 'me time' becomes showering and going to the toilet with the door closed if you're lucky! I totally understand you feeling like you are just house mates looking after your kids because I often feel click here same way. I just wasn't sure what to do about it because I really felt like the problem was with me.

I wanted to change the dynamic and bring the romance back, but I honestly just didn't like him touching me, kissing me or giving me any physical affection. The Wife doenst want to have sex was hugging, and especially snuggling in bed at night.

This brought me comfort and helped me feel safe and loved without the pressure of sex or romance. So much of it is all in my head and I am trying really hard to work on myself click to see more just do the physical affection thing sometimes, even when I don't feel like it.

I have a suspicion that my low libido could also be hormone related as a result of all the hormones of pregnancy, breastfeeding etc. I spoke to my mother's group about this and many of them said they are too tired and hardly ever do it.

One couple has started having sex as soon as they put their baby to bed at night so they are not too tired. I'm going to try that next. Another said that she doesn't miss sex unless they are having it regularly to begin with. I can definitely relate as I generally enjoy sex and never regret having it, but it's still not enough to make me want it the next time without really convincing myself that I will enjoy it.

Lots of us also found that sex was a bit uncomfortable after having a baby and it took a long time to get better largely hormone related. I will be talking to my GP about that too, though it's definitely better now than the first 6 months or so after birth.

She probably knows it's a problem and probably feels really bad about it like I do, but there are so many demands of her at read article stage, she might not have anything left in the tank for you at the end of the day, other than being civil and practically helping each other. It won't last forever or be an excuse forever, but can I reiterate that she needs your patience, comfort and affirmation Wife doenst want to have sex are likely the only one in a position to comment on how good a job she is doing and your supportive words mean a lot at this time.

I think talking to a counsellor is a great idea for you and hopefully they can give you some ideas about how you could approach this with your wife, and when the time might be right to do that, and what you could change about yourself in the meantime though not blaming you at all. I really hope that you find a counsellor who can listen and offer some advice. It can be hard to find one who suits you, but it's definitely worth giving it a go.

I hope this has been helpful and I will let you know if I think of anything else that might be useful to know. Hang in there and definitely don't have an affair in the meantime can't believe people even suggested that! It is great you have started this thread, many will benefit.

I don't have more to say except, I know exactly how you are feeling, I have Wife doenst want to have sex the Wife doenst want to have sex thing. It's a bit of a roller coaster, am I worthy, has she stopped loving me, it is a challenge to find some compromise. One thing I have learnt, you cannot control anyone else, only your self. In my case my partner had several events and mental health issues that combined to turn her off sex. So essentially, I'm not going to pressure a unwell person to do it, that would be very wrong.

So it has become a personal challenge, to be happy to be with my partner, without much sex. It's not her fault and it's not mine. I have had to take a look at myself to know that I am desirable and I constantly have to ensure I am doing the things that I know are right, like all the Wife doenst want to have sex forms of intimacy, without any expectation.

It's not easy but you have to stay true to yourself. Try Wife doenst want to have sex shift your focus to the things that your wife will do, reassign some importance and value to these things.

Thankyou so much for your posts Alice in Wonderland.

Pornostar Siri Watch Video Adult sexting. She stays up all night playing on the computer just to avoid me and im out of things to try. I love her deeply but the lack of intimacy is making me feel further and further away from her. Im full of resentments and our relationship is weakening. Im afraid to talk to her about what the bible says as im afraid it will only anger her. But if something doesnt happen soon im afraid we will loose that special love we have always had for each other that makes marriage a joy. How should i talk to her about this without being offensive and making things worse? Share your heart with her just like you did here. Make sure you communicate with her in a gentle and loving way with complete humility. But the more she gets involved with her church the less she has intimate feelings for me. I think she is intentionally neglecting our sex life because she knows how much I really want her need her, but she just tells me I have developed a problem and need to see a Dr. This is extremely frustrating because she wants me to be the ideal husband in every other way except that. Women will lose the desire when they are experiencing these issues. Praying for your family God Bless and direct you to use wisdom. Im a 32 year old man and this is my 3rd year of marriage. Im a reallly good husband that loves her so much and I try to do as much as I can. Thre is starting to be a big lack of respect for me and our marriage too, but if I mention it she thinks Im being stupid or a typical husband. Wow,really enlightening stuff,Wes and Done…. My wife or soon to be ex-wife is more or less the same…. I hate the fact that I do all the things that are meant to make a wife happy but all I get is constant rejection…. Before you say anything about me sleeping downstairs…. You know why…? So now I watch porn and masturbate,just so that i can be under the same roof as my kids….. I see no help insight as she seems happy with the status quo,but for me….. Only you can change your situation…. I am a young wife at 21 and my husband is Unfortunately we were not celibate before we were married but enjoyed an active sex life before he went into the army when I was Afterwards, his libido diminished greatly and to this day, I would gladly make love to my husband once or twice every day while he is satisfied with twice a week. Have you any advice for wives who have a higher sex drive than their husbands? It seems that every bit of advice out there is for wives with lower sex drives. What hurts the most is that when he does…it becomes all about him. Thank you so much for your advise and simple way of making things for me it truly does feel like if were to be speaking to my sister in God I truly do appreciate you ministry and I will pray for you and it Am a new follower of you work and it has change my life for the best I want to become more Christ-like not only for me but for the world around me, so they see me as a better more Godly person and you have sure taken me there Thank you so much once again May God Bless you always and may your ministry grow to help others as it has help me!!! Omission from your article: HE has physical issues. ED is a very common and serious condition that many couples have to deal with. And the medications a. Very very frustrating for a woman who has a good sex drive. Very frustrating. Try to seek some form of intimacy with your man in spite of his physical condition. Jolene, Thank you so much for sharing your heart and being so vulnerable. Just found you from a friend on Facebook and subscribed. Thank her for your babies. Thank her for the dreams she pursues and the ones she puts on hold. Gratitude is often an action. Show it by washing the dishes, playing with her hair, giving her time and holding her hand. But every once in a while knock her socks off by actually saying, "Thank you. Those three things! That is romance! That is courtship! That is love! And you know what gets women hot? Take her out on a date at least twice a month. Put on spiffy clothes and take her to a restaurant, museum, movie or stroll around downtown. Open her door and put your hand on the small of her back. Be the boy she fell in love with and she will be the girl that made your heart race. Making out in the car before driving home while optional is strongly suggested. If you want your wife to treat you like a man, you have to act like a man. Your wife did not marry you in order to raise you. She does not live to wash your dishes, pick up your socks or put the kids to bed by herself while you watch the game for "just five more minutes. You are not her project or responsibility. There is nothing sexually appealing about a person that means more work, more worry and less freedom. Your wife married you because she decided her life would be richer and more meaningful with you as a partner. Stop trying to prove her wrong. You are her ally in adventure, tedium, fear, joy, laundry, dishes, children, lack and plenty. There is no such thing as women's work or men's work. There is only your life's work together and she needs you to roll up your sleeves and dig in right alongside her. Cook dinner, change diapers and kiss bruised knees. You will be amazed at how much more happily eagerly! Side note: If I hear one more of you say you are "babysitting the kids" while your wife is gone, I will start handing out copies of The Feminine Mystique. And nobody wants that. They are your kids as thoroughly as they are hers. You aren't babysitting, you are parenting. And then here is a great article written by Sheila Wray Gregoire on this same issue. And then what to do about it. We encourage you to read this article and comments posted below it. Sheila does a great job in explaining things:. When Your Wife Hates Sex. Neil Black, on the web site, Power to Change , wrote the following articles, which you may find helpful:. I realize that this is a complex issue for the wife who is denying her husband, as well. There are so many reasons why you may not want to make love to your husband. Some of these reasons may be lack of desire, his cleanliness, his demanding, abusive, controlling ways, which turn you off when you consider having any physical contact with him. And then there are pornography issues —either his or yours. Satisfaction is being achieved through false, sinful entertainment. We deal with many of those issues in other topics of this web site. Please search for them. There are so many reasons why a wife may want to say no to having sex with her husband. I sure did —probably because I have had to make similar decisions:. These issues are also addressed within other topics on this web site. Please seek and you will find. But I believe you will find inspiration and at least some help to make changes that are needed in intimately connecting with your marriage partner. Also, there is the problem of past abuse from other men and how it may be haunting you today. When your husband touches you it sends off memory triggers. These triggers may remind you of the horrible hurt you went through earlier in life. It may also have stripped your desire to have even a loving husband touch you. Healing an Emotional Wound. There may be other issues, such as addictions, and bitterness over marriage situations. Just so you know, we have articles on those issues on this web site, as well. I agree that there are seasons where we need to work on issues pertaining to our sex life together. The Bible tells us,. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Being intimate and exclusive with each other is all part of being married. Keep in mind that marriage is not all about you. This is a partnership. And just like your husband needs to work with you on compromises, you need to work with him on compromises too. My sex life is in the same boat. I'm attracted to my wife, and would love to be intimate with her at least once a week. But my wife would probably go months or more without reaching towards me. Having to "make the move" every time, in a hundred different sensitive ways.. You wonder what it is about you, that is fundamentally so unattractive. Dan Savage is worth looking up, his podcasts speak very frankly about sex and relationships. He is very practical. His point is generally that a relationship is an ongoing conversation, it doesn't have to be one type or the other, as long as it works. But if its not working, it needs to be talked about. What I feel for you, is that your wife is neglecting a fundamental way that you gain acceptance and self-worth. If your wife was complaining that you never compliment her, and you continued to refuse to do so What Dan Savage points out, and I think is a very good point, is it doesn't have to be about penis-vagina sex, I presume what you really want is a sexual kind of attention.. That conversation is hard, and I'm certainly not there yet with my partner. Dan Savage even suggests that you might remain committed to the relationship, but agree to seek sex outside the marriage. That seems a radical concept to me, but I understand where he is coming from. It's a very practical idea that might just work if everyone agreed. Thanks emdan. I know I am not the only one in this situation but it is nice to actually hear that other people are going through the same thing. My wife would never agree to me having sex with other people. I mentioned it to her a long time ago and she shut it down. I understand why though. You are right, I am not just interested in quick "in and out" sex, but want the intimacy involved in actually making love. Lately we never even kiss, hold hands or anything. The other day she sent me an sms and called me her sexy hubby. I said to her that made me feel good and would love it if she would pay me compliments like that more often. She said she will but I guess I will just have to wait and see. She never says stuff like that normally. I think she is sensing that I am feeling lonely and unloved. Thanks for your post too Pipsy. We actually have 2 kids. We have two sons, aged 3 and 6 weeks. Yes she is tired and I understand that, however our sex issues have been going on far longer than during her pregnancy and since baby came along. Her first pregnancy was a natural birth and she recovered well. The most recent one was a caessarian. I understand that there is a period of recovery involved after a c section. My husband had testicular cancer over 10 years ago. To cut a long story short, he never recovered his sex drive, even when using Viagra and all kinds of medications and aids. Our sex life stopped. He told me that if he was unable to have sex, then why should I have any pleasure! That is the way it has been. We don't even hold hands anymore, let alone kiss or cuddle. He doesn't even like me to sit next to him on the lounge. I have tried talking to him over the years, but he says there is nothing to discuss. I feel that he just pushes me away all of the time and then he wonders why I feel depressed and lonely. End of last year I had a breakdown and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks. I told him I wanted a divorce, that I wanted to leave. He told me we would work things out. We went to a couple's counsellor once and he thought that was enough. Nothing was really addressed. I am still here, because on my wage I can't afford to live alone. We are in a region where houses take years to sell so that isn't much of an option and neither of us can afford to pay each other out. So we are stuck. Well at least I feel like I am stuck. I know it is more than the sex and intimacy. We all need to feel like we are loved and wanted, respected and cared for. Maybe your wife needs some TLC as well. Compliment her, give her a little hug and a kiss on the cheek. Rest your hand on her leg while you are watching t. Have contact, but don't make it sexual and see how that goes. Nothing has changed and I am becoming more and more frustrated and depressed at just how plain and boring my relationship with my wife has become. I feel we are like two friends living together and looking after two small children. There is no intimacy at all. It has been about 5 months now since we have had sex and the longer it goes on the more isolated and lonely I feel. Don't know what to do. I'm sure if you went outside your marriage for sex, yes you would get that pleasure but at what cost I wish you good luck, don't blame yourself though, I'm sure she still loves you but has just forgotten how to get that feeling back ,so give her a few reminders. You sound like a really kind and caring person who really is unsure what the best thing to do is. I can only share my story. I am only now realising how hard it has been for my husband over our 22 year marriage. I love him now more than ever but I found things so hard when we had children - through absolutely no fault of his. My love for him never waned. I did not want him to touch me. There's a million reasons for this, the majority of which coming from me. I was resentful that his life hadn't changed much, but mine did. His career started to take off and mine had become terribly stagnant - it was my choice to stay at home and later return to work on a part time basis. I don't regret any of those decisions. I kind of felt used because I felt like I was doing something for someone else all day. I lost enjoyment in everything. And yes, years later depression was diagnosed and things are so much better now. I also read The 5 Love Languages which helped me realise that how I expressed my love for him was different to how he expressed his love for me. He read the book too. You are even more trapped when you have children. I stay together because that way at least I can teach bible and prayer life to children but if I separate then they would be lost. Anon you are lucky. I dont care for sex and cannot wait til my husband is older so that he cant function down there and loses his sex drive… please god make it happen fast! Size does matter to woman esp. No need to sugarcoat the truth. It comes out implicitly. Sex life went to zero when mother-in-law started living together and all of a sudden she became priority no. Love does make a person blind but marriage becomes an eye opener. One of the worst things is to work all day, come home, do everything for the house and kids, then listen to husband complain about money, kids, the dinner I made, everything under the sun, then turn around and want sex. Ummmm, no. Him not contributing at home with kids and housework, and not appreciating what I do is my absolute 1 reason for not wanting sex with my husband. My wife told me out of the blue she felt I treated her like a whore. I have no idea what that even ment but decided to play her game. I told her I was sorry if I made her feel like a whore albeit we had sex about every three or four months after several failed attempts at initiating on my part and I would make sure she never feels that way again. She thanked me for understanding her feelings and walked away. So I decided she can do all initiating for sex, as in a role reversal. Five years later, sex 3 times and she gets angry as I never initiate sex. Flat out told her she owns our sex life as I keep my promise not to make her feel like a whore. On top of that I never touch her, kiss her, hug her, hold her hand, etc. She tells me she feels unloved. I tell her that may be but she doesnt ever feel like a whore now. But what happens when the husband now longer has a demand for sex from his wife who is the supplier? Her supply of sex means nothing without demand. Guys, if she wants to withold sez, then you need to withold emotions. Men breath sex, woman breth emotions. Fight back, dont give her that emotional closeness and hours of talking she craves so she can expierence what it is like for you to go without sex. By Carl Thomas. Carl Thomas Carl is a pastor, husband, and father. He works and writes for XXXchurch. You Might Also Like. A Must Read: Dating Tips for Girls. And Grown Ups. Scott Martin..

You have given me a really good insight into the female perspective. I think that my wife is feeling very much the same way. I know she is definitely exhausted and has no time or energy for sex.

What I need to do is to find a way of not beating myself up about it! I feel very guilty at the moment about everything. Take her out on a date at least twice a month.

Put on spiffy clothes and take her to a restaurant, museum, movie or stroll around downtown. Open her door and put your hand on the small of her back.

Be the boy she fell in love with and she will be the girl that made your heart race. Wife doenst want to have sex out in the car before driving home while optional is strongly suggested. If you want your wife to treat you like a man, you have to act like a man. Your wife did not marry you in order to raise you. She does not live to wash your dishes, pick up your socks or put the Wife doenst want to have sex to bed by herself while you watch the game for "just five more minutes.

You are Wife doenst want to have sex her project or responsibility. There is nothing source appealing about a person that means more work, more worry and less freedom. Your wife married you because she decided her life would be richer and more meaningful with you as a partner. Stop trying to prove her wrong. You are her ally in adventure, tedium, fear, joy, laundry, dishes, children, lack and plenty.

There is no such thing as Wife doenst want to have sex work or men's work. There is only your life's work together and she needs you to roll up your sleeves and dig in right alongside her. Cook dinner, change diapers and kiss bruised knees. You will be amazed at how much more happily eagerly!

Wife doenst want to have sex

Side note: If I hear one more of you say you are "babysitting the kids" while your wife is gone, I will start handing out click of The Feminine Mystique.

And nobody wants that. They are your kids as thoroughly as they are hers. You aren't babysitting, you are parenting. When she leaves don't make her feel guilty, don't ask her to take the baby with her she will if she wants to and don't text or call to ask when she is coming home. They are just children, for heaven's sake.

I think you can handle it. She needs a moment in each day Wife doenst want to have sex is just about her. Your wife needs time and space, two things that are in short supply in a life full of work and play dates and pick ups. She Wife doenst want to have sex room to breathe, create, to stop and do nothing at all. Every woman is different. Some of us dive into bubble baths, others walk under the stars and some this one included write until they find themselves at the end of a sentence.

Biggest pussyblackass Watch Video Sunny Xxxali. The exception was hugging, and especially snuggling in bed at night. This brought me comfort and helped me feel safe and loved without the pressure of sex or romance. So much of it is all in my head and I am trying really hard to work on myself and just do the physical affection thing sometimes, even when I don't feel like it. I have a suspicion that my low libido could also be hormone related as a result of all the hormones of pregnancy, breastfeeding etc. I spoke to my mother's group about this and many of them said they are too tired and hardly ever do it. One couple has started having sex as soon as they put their baby to bed at night so they are not too tired. I'm going to try that next. Another said that she doesn't miss sex unless they are having it regularly to begin with. I can definitely relate as I generally enjoy sex and never regret having it, but it's still not enough to make me want it the next time without really convincing myself that I will enjoy it. Lots of us also found that sex was a bit uncomfortable after having a baby and it took a long time to get better largely hormone related. I will be talking to my GP about that too, though it's definitely better now than the first 6 months or so after birth. She probably knows it's a problem and probably feels really bad about it like I do, but there are so many demands of her at this stage, she might not have anything left in the tank for you at the end of the day, other than being civil and practically helping each other. It won't last forever or be an excuse forever, but can I reiterate that she needs your patience, comfort and affirmation you are likely the only one in a position to comment on how good a job she is doing and your supportive words mean a lot at this time. I think talking to a counsellor is a great idea for you and hopefully they can give you some ideas about how you could approach this with your wife, and when the time might be right to do that, and what you could change about yourself in the meantime though not blaming you at all. I really hope that you find a counsellor who can listen and offer some advice. It can be hard to find one who suits you, but it's definitely worth giving it a go. I hope this has been helpful and I will let you know if I think of anything else that might be useful to know. Hang in there and definitely don't have an affair in the meantime can't believe people even suggested that! It is great you have started this thread, many will benefit. I don't have more to say except, I know exactly how you are feeling, I have experienced the same thing. It's a bit of a roller coaster, am I worthy, has she stopped loving me, it is a challenge to find some compromise. One thing I have learnt, you cannot control anyone else, only your self. In my case my partner had several events and mental health issues that combined to turn her off sex. So essentially, I'm not going to pressure a unwell person to do it, that would be very wrong. So it has become a personal challenge, to be happy to be with my partner, without much sex. It's not her fault and it's not mine. I have had to take a look at myself to know that I am desirable and I constantly have to ensure I am doing the things that I know are right, like all the other forms of intimacy, without any expectation. It's not easy but you have to stay true to yourself. Try and shift your focus to the things that your wife will do, reassign some importance and value to these things. Thankyou so much for your posts Alice in Wonderland. You have given me a really good insight into the female perspective. I think that my wife is feeling very much the same way. I know she is definitely exhausted and has no time or energy for sex. What I need to do is to find a way of not beating myself up about it! I feel very guilty at the moment about everything. For example, yesterday was mother's day and I really wanted to spoil my wife and have a nice day together and as a family but it didn't happen. I had to work I am a shift worker and work weekends and all kinds of hours. Yesterday I started work at in the morning so I was up at 5am. Didn't get to get her brekky in bed or anything like that. Worked until half past one then had to swing by and see my own mother for mother's day. It was 4pm by the time I got home. We had planned to go to Fremantle for dinner and take the kids to the park but she was too tired and said it was too late. Then we planned to have a picnic at a local park but they were burning off yesterday and it was smoked out so we ended up staying home and having takeaway. It was such an ordinary day. And I blamed myself for it. By 8pm she had gone to bed. Think that answers your post Mrs Dools. It certainly wasn't the day I had in mind. I try and be as supportive and helpful as I can but feel guilty even going to work and leaving her. I know someone has to work and earn an income but I feel like she needs me at home to cope. I do a lot of housework - dishes, vacuuming, washing, the gardens, pool the pets and help with the kids. But I still feel like it isn't enough. We have had a few cuddles and kisses but I certainly don't make it sexual or put any pressure on her. I am pretty sensitive, even though it may sound like all I care about is sex. That is not the case. Jacko thanks for your post too. Haven't seen the counsellor yet. Which reminds me - I might ring and make an appointment. I think a professional's perspective might really help. Hi Steve. You poor thing. You had it all planned so nicely then everything that could go wrong, did. Talk about Murphy's Law. I'm sure your wife doesn't blame you, if she does 'lash' out, it's probably just that she's worn out and needs to 'vent' and you just happened to be there. My hubby was a shift worker too, so my heart goes out to you. Could your or her mum help out with the kids, or won't they stay with anyone but you and mum. Kids can be 'clingy' at such a young age. Try not to feel guilty about circumstances beyond your control. I'm a great believer that when things are meant to be, they'll be without any 'force', for lack of another word, on our part. Some day you'll look back on these days and say 'remember when'. If your wife wants to cry from sheer frustration and tiredness, you're right to 'be there' and try to let her know she's loved. You're a warm, supportive husband. I'm sure she knows and appreciates this. Even if she doesn't seem to acknowledge it, I know one day, she will. I'm hoping your wife will appreciate it even if it is not happening on the dedicated "Mother's Day". My husband worked shift work hours for decades so I know that can be disruptive to a "normal" life style. Try to make another occasion a special day. Steven1, wow that was like reading about my own situation. Like you, I understand the stresses that she is under, but it is so difficult when your needs are being placed on the waiting list. As you said, it's not so much the sexual activity, it's that need to feel desired. We would kiss, begin dry humping,whenever it would get intense she would create an akward situation or moment. I think some of these points are valid…. Pretty much the complete flip opposite to men — You need to tap into her emotional side. Andros not true, i dont need emotional bs that you mentioned. I look at sex as a chore. I would rather sleep or clean than have sex. Some people have more inportant things to do. Every other day???? Man…id be in heaven. We average about 10 times…in a year! Its been this way for 30 years. Women hold the power and they know it. The number of times a couple has sex is determined by the spouse with the lower sex drive…normally the woman. Why do you think there is so much interest in sports,fishing , hunting, NASCAR, strip bars, golfing…men are trying to fill their time with things that take their minds off of not getting sex. Women want romance…. Her live language is gifts and she gets everything she wants, I need one thing and have told her that and get zero! Cause you want to stay pure and trustworthy and yet is hard! Another guy here who gives very honest effort to make his wife happy — helping around the house, involved in the kids life, I provide a nice house and no need and she stays home to home school the kids. Her love language is acts of service and I help every single day. We go on vacations, she drives the car she wants. Im kind and caring and dont say mean things or get mad easily. We rarely kiss or do affectionate things couples typically do. Its painful, and I hate it. We do have random spurts where we have a lot of sex and then as mysteriously as it starts it stops. Its all but impossible to talk to her about it with out her getting angry. Really tired of the pain of feeling unloved, and the physical need for sex starts to hurt after a while too. And one other thing. Ignorance is not a viable excuse for her. Unbelievably painful to hear stuff like that from the women who vowed to love me the rest of my life! Many women refuse sex because their man is looking at instamodels, porn, coworkers on fb, etc. Anna, I think if your man is looking at porn, there is something to be said, but I would question why he is looking at porn. Maybe he has no confidence that your being reciprocal is not as obvious as you think. Apparently this is a common problem with no resolve. Men are left with the annoying burden of reprogramming our natural desire to simply have sex unabated. Hell, this post might as well promote prostitution and strip clubs…. Her lack of intimate time makes me feel un loved and un desirable. It leaves me with feelings of rejection and un loved. Its feels like she only loves me when things are going her way. She stays up all night playing on the computer just to avoid me and im out of things to try. I love her deeply but the lack of intimacy is making me feel further and further away from her. Im full of resentments and our relationship is weakening. Im afraid to talk to her about what the bible says as im afraid it will only anger her. But if something doesnt happen soon im afraid we will loose that special love we have always had for each other that makes marriage a joy. How should i talk to her about this without being offensive and making things worse? Share your heart with her just like you did here. Make sure you communicate with her in a gentle and loving way with complete humility. But the more she gets involved with her church the less she has intimate feelings for me. I think she is intentionally neglecting our sex life because she knows how much I really want her need her, but she just tells me I have developed a problem and need to see a Dr. This is extremely frustrating because she wants me to be the ideal husband in every other way except that. Women will lose the desire when they are experiencing these issues. Praying for your family God Bless and direct you to use wisdom. Im a 32 year old man and this is my 3rd year of marriage. Im a reallly good husband that loves her so much and I try to do as much as I can. Thre is starting to be a big lack of respect for me and our marriage too, but if I mention it she thinks Im being stupid or a typical husband. Wow,really enlightening stuff,Wes and Done…. My wife or soon to be ex-wife is more or less the same…. I hate the fact that I do all the things that are meant to make a wife happy but all I get is constant rejection…. Before you say anything about me sleeping downstairs…. You know why…? So now I watch porn and masturbate,just so that i can be under the same roof as my kids….. I see no help insight as she seems happy with the status quo,but for me….. Only you can change your situation…. I am a young wife at 21 and my husband is Unfortunately we were not celibate before we were married but enjoyed an active sex life before he went into the army when I was Afterwards, his libido diminished greatly and to this day, I would gladly make love to my husband once or twice every day while he is satisfied with twice a week. Have you any advice for wives who have a higher sex drive than their husbands? It seems that every bit of advice out there is for wives with lower sex drives. What hurts the most is that when he does…it becomes all about him. Thank you so much for your advise and simple way of making things for me it truly does feel like if were to be speaking to my sister in God I truly do appreciate you ministry and I will pray for you and it Am a new follower of you work and it has change my life for the best I want to become more Christ-like not only for me but for the world around me, so they see me as a better more Godly person and you have sure taken me there Thank you so much once again May God Bless you always and may your ministry grow to help others as it has help me!!! Omission from your article: HE has physical issues. ED is a very common and serious condition that many couples have to deal with. And the medications a. Very very frustrating for a woman who has a good sex drive. Very frustrating. I have to lay the blame for the perpetuation of this myth at the feet of men. I believe the accepted reasoning goes something like this: I am sorry. I couldn't help myself. I had a professor that once gave the perfect description of the differences between the two sexes, ahem, "get up and go. Locate the switch, turn it on and let there be light. Professor then said female sexual arousal and orgasm was more like flying a plane. Once you get in the cock pit you have to flip switches and buttons in the right sequence in order to prepare for takeoff. The process is slightly more involved and yes, you have to get a feel for it. But once you do Oh my gosh, I hope my Dad stopped reading two paragraphs ago. Don't be intimidated. At any given moment most men can explain the rules behind the BCS, know what is happening under the hood of their favorite car and quote stats from sports people only care about when the Olympics comes around. That is the only skill needed here. No magic involved. Educate yourself. Read a few books. Ask her questions. Women have been having orgasms since, you know, there were women. The how to's are not a secret. Don't be embarrassed. There is nothing cringe inducing about making your wife and her needs a priority. You are learning together and my goodness, could you ask for a better lesson plan? Practice makes perfect. I hate to say it. But to get good at sex you need to have a lot of sex. I know, such a burden. Alright, so maybe you haven't been at the top of your game the past few hours, days, weeks, months or, ahem, years. One of the purest joys of life is our ability to change for the better. Start now. Leave the TV off, take a break from the video games and postpone that camping trip. You have work to do and what a great work it is. We are raising our grandson who is nonverbal autistic. I have the main role with him. We dont have timing on our side. I cry all the time because of it. Let him go, so to speak? I feel I should let him go. Yea, this is something that needs to be addressed with women. John, with my wife, her sex drive is the 1st thing to go if any issues, family, life, etc comes along. We guys get blamed for everything. It starts early in a marriage then spirals down from there. One such wife and there are many, many more can be found on the web site Forgivenwife. This web site has blogs written by Chris. She writes: After action came feeling. God can work in mysterious ways. Your wife may not get it right now, but keep praying. Live your life as you know God would want you to, given these difficult circumstances. They are not, even if your wife is not doing what she should be doing. I pray you will be strong and do what is right despite these difficult circumstances. Cindy, how about praying that SHE does what is right, as in, uphold her marriage vows that she made, you know, before GOD?!? What a joke. I seriously wish I could just die and have this miserable failure of an existence done with! Except for the fact that it would finally push my bipolar daughter over the edge for good. So for now I have NO choice. What a joke marriage is. I hate it and hate my life because of it! Alan, Steve and Cindy are all about promoting hope and providing encouragement to married couples…whether the marriage is doing well, or is struggling. Since your desire appears to be to provide discouragement, and remove hope. If your heart were open to the possibility that your life could be different, in a positive way, then you too would find that same hope and encouragement here that many others find. I will be praying that your heart be changed, My Friend…: Seriously, you might better go and look out your window; there are probably a mob of Jezebels with torches and farm implements heading your way after your comment daring to suggest that gasp women have to take part of the blame. It has exactly ZERO to do with human sexuality yet one religion tells you who you cannot sleep with, that you cannot touch yourself, you cannot watch this or that. Medieval old books written by a bunch of goat herders are going to compete with what modern medicine and science today knows about healthy sexual relationships and marriage?.

Remind her to escape. It will help Wife doenst want to have sex remember she wants to come back. Strap on and Nipple clamps. It takes both of you to make it work and it is mutually beneficial for both parities. The Bible pretty much says Wife doenst want to have sex married folks should be having sex and lots of it. No, really it says that the only time to refrain from sex is for a period of time for fasting and praying and that is only for a period of time, otherwise the devil will use that to keep you apart.

The reality? Out of everyone I know, the married people have the suckiest sex lives.

Bhahhi Sexy Watch Video Freesex Cok. I just feel like we have drifted apart and the lack of physical contact doesn't help it looks like I am a man that needs sex to feel loved I had never heard that saying before but I guess it makes sense. I guess all of our well meaning theories are neither here nor there, really. The common thread is, as mentioned a few times, is communication. It is the one thing that will make or break any relationship. I understand that she is vulnerable but please don't let her shut you down when it comes to communication as in the meanwhile your relationship will deteriorate further. Maybe set yourself little goals or a timetable? Tell yourself you wish to at least discuss it with her within the next month and if the opportunity hasn't arisen or she has rejected your attempts at communication, you may need to be a little more insistent that you guys talk. I don't feel you are just interested in sex. There has been a massive shift in a relationship dynamic between you two and it will change things. Imagine if you left your job and stopped providing financially without giving a reason why or showing interest in getting income elsewhere. I'm not saying sex is the same as working, I am saying that a major and unexplained change has occurred in your relationship and you are allowed to ask why. You need to realise that if she is suffering depression or anxiety she will be reluctant to face it. No different to any other mental health issue. I think you should ask yourself where you expect to be in your relationship in, say, six months if some lines of communication haven't been opened by then? Hi again everyone. I had a talk with my wife about how I have been feeling and tried to express myself as best as I could but it didn't come out the way I wanted it to and she just fobbed it off again. She said sex isn't on her "list of priorities" at the moment. She minimised the fact that we have virtually no sex life, saying it has been due to the pregnancy and the birth, although it has been going on a lot longer than that. She said we will have sex again, when she is ready. I have no idea when that will be and by the sounds of it neither does she. I told her that I am not going to initiate anything because I don't like being rejected and I am going to wait for her. I think I might be waiting a long time. Hi Steven, another thought springs to mind re: You've had 3 kids. Did she have easy pregnancies each time. What about the births? Is it possible, she's 'sore' there. Sometimes lack of Eostrogen can 'dry' a woman, making sex painful. Embarrassment can lead to her not wanting or being able to discuss it. Even discussing it with a G. P is difficult, especially if it's a male G. Maybe she is just tired because having kids can wear you out. How old are the kids? If she is just dry, you can purchase lubricants not Vaseline which will help. Again, a G. P is your best bet. Maybe a Gyneacologist, you can get a referral through your G. I just wanted to say, "you're not alone" I think this situation comes up a lot. It still doesn't mean it's easy to deal with. My sex life is in the same boat. I'm attracted to my wife, and would love to be intimate with her at least once a week. But my wife would probably go months or more without reaching towards me. Having to "make the move" every time, in a hundred different sensitive ways.. You wonder what it is about you, that is fundamentally so unattractive. Dan Savage is worth looking up, his podcasts speak very frankly about sex and relationships. He is very practical. His point is generally that a relationship is an ongoing conversation, it doesn't have to be one type or the other, as long as it works. But if its not working, it needs to be talked about. What I feel for you, is that your wife is neglecting a fundamental way that you gain acceptance and self-worth. If your wife was complaining that you never compliment her, and you continued to refuse to do so What Dan Savage points out, and I think is a very good point, is it doesn't have to be about penis-vagina sex, I presume what you really want is a sexual kind of attention.. That conversation is hard, and I'm certainly not there yet with my partner. Dan Savage even suggests that you might remain committed to the relationship, but agree to seek sex outside the marriage. That seems a radical concept to me, but I understand where he is coming from. It's a very practical idea that might just work if everyone agreed. Thanks emdan. I know I am not the only one in this situation but it is nice to actually hear that other people are going through the same thing. My wife would never agree to me having sex with other people. I mentioned it to her a long time ago and she shut it down. I understand why though. You are right, I am not just interested in quick "in and out" sex, but want the intimacy involved in actually making love. Lately we never even kiss, hold hands or anything. The other day she sent me an sms and called me her sexy hubby. I said to her that made me feel good and would love it if she would pay me compliments like that more often. She said she will but I guess I will just have to wait and see. She never says stuff like that normally. I think she is sensing that I am feeling lonely and unloved. Thanks for your post too Pipsy. We actually have 2 kids. We have two sons, aged 3 and 6 weeks. Yes she is tired and I understand that, however our sex issues have been going on far longer than during her pregnancy and since baby came along. Her first pregnancy was a natural birth and she recovered well. The most recent one was a caessarian. I understand that there is a period of recovery involved after a c section. My husband had testicular cancer over 10 years ago. To cut a long story short, he never recovered his sex drive, even when using Viagra and all kinds of medications and aids. Our sex life stopped. He told me that if he was unable to have sex, then why should I have any pleasure! That is the way it has been. I look at sex as a chore. I would rather sleep or clean than have sex. Some people have more inportant things to do. Every other day???? Man…id be in heaven. We average about 10 times…in a year! Its been this way for 30 years. Women hold the power and they know it. The number of times a couple has sex is determined by the spouse with the lower sex drive…normally the woman. Why do you think there is so much interest in sports,fishing , hunting, NASCAR, strip bars, golfing…men are trying to fill their time with things that take their minds off of not getting sex. Women want romance…. Her live language is gifts and she gets everything she wants, I need one thing and have told her that and get zero! Cause you want to stay pure and trustworthy and yet is hard! Another guy here who gives very honest effort to make his wife happy — helping around the house, involved in the kids life, I provide a nice house and no need and she stays home to home school the kids. Her love language is acts of service and I help every single day. We go on vacations, she drives the car she wants. Im kind and caring and dont say mean things or get mad easily. We rarely kiss or do affectionate things couples typically do. Its painful, and I hate it. We do have random spurts where we have a lot of sex and then as mysteriously as it starts it stops. Its all but impossible to talk to her about it with out her getting angry. Really tired of the pain of feeling unloved, and the physical need for sex starts to hurt after a while too. And one other thing. Ignorance is not a viable excuse for her. Unbelievably painful to hear stuff like that from the women who vowed to love me the rest of my life! Many women refuse sex because their man is looking at instamodels, porn, coworkers on fb, etc. Anna, I think if your man is looking at porn, there is something to be said, but I would question why he is looking at porn. Maybe he has no confidence that your being reciprocal is not as obvious as you think. Apparently this is a common problem with no resolve. Men are left with the annoying burden of reprogramming our natural desire to simply have sex unabated. Hell, this post might as well promote prostitution and strip clubs…. No wonder countries that practice polygamy have higher success marriage success rates. Not really. As women age they lose their sex drives-just like men become impotent. Its natures way to focus on what matters, kids, gradnkids etc etc. Stop trying to prove her wrong. You are her ally in adventure, tedium, fear, joy, laundry, dishes, children, lack and plenty. There is no such thing as women's work or men's work. There is only your life's work together and she needs you to roll up your sleeves and dig in right alongside her. Cook dinner, change diapers and kiss bruised knees. You will be amazed at how much more happily eagerly! Side note: If I hear one more of you say you are "babysitting the kids" while your wife is gone, I will start handing out copies of The Feminine Mystique. And nobody wants that. They are your kids as thoroughly as they are hers. You aren't babysitting, you are parenting. When she leaves don't make her feel guilty, don't ask her to take the baby with her she will if she wants to and don't text or call to ask when she is coming home. They are just children, for heaven's sake. I think you can handle it. She needs a moment in each day that is just about her. Your wife needs time and space, two things that are in short supply in a life full of work and play dates and pick ups. She needs room to breathe, create, to stop and do nothing at all. Every woman is different. Some of us dive into bubble baths, others walk under the stars and some this one included write until they find themselves at the end of a sentence. Remind her to escape. It will help her remember she wants to come back. When she returns she will be rejuvenated and renewed, the absolute opposite of, "Not tonight, honey. I am too tired. It isn't any blasted fun. There it is. The elephant in the room. Women are more likely to want to have sex when an orgasm is involved and too often, it is not. For reasons unknown, the female orgasm has been shrouded in a cloak of mystery and unattainability. In case you were wondering, the cloak is made of polyester and really doesn't breathe well. I have to lay the blame for the perpetuation of this myth at the feet of men. I believe the accepted reasoning goes something like this: I am sorry. At one time my wife said she could live without any sexual contact. Time passed, perimenopausal, then menopause, painful sex. Something to consider…. I want to have sex. I want to be with my husband becsause I love him. I also still find him physically attractive. We are raising our grandson who is nonverbal autistic. I have the main role with him. We dont have timing on our side. I cry all the time because of it. Let him go, so to speak? I feel I should let him go. Yea, this is something that needs to be addressed with women. John, with my wife, her sex drive is the 1st thing to go if any issues, family, life, etc comes along. We guys get blamed for everything. It starts early in a marriage then spirals down from there. One such wife and there are many, many more can be found on the web site Forgivenwife. This web site has blogs written by Chris. She writes: After action came feeling. God can work in mysterious ways. Your wife may not get it right now, but keep praying. Live your life as you know God would want you to, given these difficult circumstances. They are not, even if your wife is not doing what she should be doing. I pray you will be strong and do what is right despite these difficult circumstances. Cindy, how about praying that SHE does what is right, as in, uphold her marriage vows that she made, you know, before GOD?!? What a joke. I seriously wish I could just die and have this miserable failure of an existence done with! Except for the fact that it would finally push my bipolar daughter over the edge for good. So for now I have NO choice. What a joke marriage is. I hate it and hate my life because of it! Alan, Steve and Cindy are all about promoting hope and providing encouragement to married couples…whether the marriage is doing well, or is struggling. Keeping peace with the kids is more important than having sex with her husband. Who wants to deal with another temper-tantrum, right? She needs her space so she can breathe. For some, you entered into the world of motherhood rather quickly. For other wives, you might be focusing on a career or perhaps raising teenagers, handling a blended family, aging parents, etc. Perhaps you feel more like the cook, maid, taxi driver, etc. Knowing your roles and putting them in the proper biblical order is the key here. She feels insecure about her body. If you have body image issues this is something you can work on yourself. Sex is painful. I lived with 10 years of chronic fatigue. If this way of life describes you, then plan for naps and simplify your schedule. Yep, been here as well, my friend. She has a low sex drive. Of course I can relate to this one as well being that I had rupturing ovarian cysts for over 5 years. Ya know, those things have a tendency to be related to imbalanced hormones! I say somewhat restored because sometimes fixing our bodies is just not a reality. However, avoiding sex altogether is not a solution to your problems either. So you might need to get sexually creative on this one. I know there are many things on this list that are so difficult to overcome, but with a willing heart, a teachable spirit, and a desire to please the Lord, you can, with Christ, overcome many of these obstacles. One of the things that sex is designed for is to bring you and your man closer together. The marriage bed is a place to strengthen your one flesh union. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. The topic of this post has caused this article to become my number one post searched on Google. I know all husbands want to connect with their wives, and I can only imagine that you are hurting in your marriage. But, in this ministry, I write to women, not men. We created the site just for you! I do as much if not more around the house and am a great father. I could go on, but I have to sleep so I can plow snow all day tomorrow. This is not how God intended a marriage to be like. My Cituation is different. I found out that my wife was hiding things from me: She did not have any kids or home as it was a long distance relationship when the agreement was no other people but family could be on her account. Now, it had being 4 weeks since she has being avoiding me to have sex and now we are in a divorce process due to all the crap she was hiding from me with all kinds of excuses. Sadly we have a 12, 6 years old and she is 30 weeks pregnat which due to all the crap we have being going through and all the lies I am suspecting the baby might not even be mine because it consides with the time she was on jury duty. Man, this cituacion truly sucks and the trust and respect is not longer there. I was sooo exhausted that at times I would accidentally fall asleep during the act and still he refused to understand. He would either get upset, sulk or pick a fight when I was tired. What really broke my heart was that he continued watching porn even though we were doing it almost every day, and showed no remorse for his actions even after knowing how much it hurt me. We had so much sex that I went to preterm labor..

Why are the single people having all the good sex? Most men can get over things pretty quickly. If Jeanette and I fight, I can get over it and make up in Wife doenst want to have sex and be totally fine to have sex that night.

Their emotions are involved and they tend to put up some Wife doenst want to have sex walls then most men. This could be how she lost her virginity. This could be a situation involving abuse or rape at a younger age. She thought marriage would solve this, but these issues have never been addressed thoroughly and have caused her to just not be interested. My gut is that if you could help her process some of these things or encourage some counseling, then that could be a great start to help her find the healing she needs.

lisaraye nude Watch Video Hottest bbw. Perhaps you feel more like the cook, maid, taxi driver, etc. Knowing your roles and putting them in the proper biblical order is the key here. She feels insecure about her body. If you have body image issues this is something you can work on yourself. Sex is painful. I lived with 10 years of chronic fatigue. If this way of life describes you, then plan for naps and simplify your schedule. Yep, been here as well, my friend. She has a low sex drive. Of course I can relate to this one as well being that I had rupturing ovarian cysts for over 5 years. Ya know, those things have a tendency to be related to imbalanced hormones! I say somewhat restored because sometimes fixing our bodies is just not a reality. However, avoiding sex altogether is not a solution to your problems either. So you might need to get sexually creative on this one. I know there are many things on this list that are so difficult to overcome, but with a willing heart, a teachable spirit, and a desire to please the Lord, you can, with Christ, overcome many of these obstacles. One of the things that sex is designed for is to bring you and your man closer together. The marriage bed is a place to strengthen your one flesh union. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. The topic of this post has caused this article to become my number one post searched on Google. I know all husbands want to connect with their wives, and I can only imagine that you are hurting in your marriage. But, in this ministry, I write to women, not men. We created the site just for you! I do as much if not more around the house and am a great father. I could go on, but I have to sleep so I can plow snow all day tomorrow. This is not how God intended a marriage to be like. My Cituation is different. I found out that my wife was hiding things from me: She did not have any kids or home as it was a long distance relationship when the agreement was no other people but family could be on her account. Now, it had being 4 weeks since she has being avoiding me to have sex and now we are in a divorce process due to all the crap she was hiding from me with all kinds of excuses. Sadly we have a 12, 6 years old and she is 30 weeks pregnat which due to all the crap we have being going through and all the lies I am suspecting the baby might not even be mine because it consides with the time she was on jury duty. Man, this cituacion truly sucks and the trust and respect is not longer there. I was sooo exhausted that at times I would accidentally fall asleep during the act and still he refused to understand. He would either get upset, sulk or pick a fight when I was tired. What really broke my heart was that he continued watching porn even though we were doing it almost every day, and showed no remorse for his actions even after knowing how much it hurt me. We had so much sex that I went to preterm labor. He even had the nerve to get upset when I kept telling him that I was in pain. I was torn and emotionally broken by then.. Physical scars may heal but emotional scars lasts forever and women are emotional creatures by nature. Always win her heart. Yet he sees nothing wrong and feels it is ALL my fault! Show her, tell her, and keep the lights on once in a while during sex so you can remind her that you love looking at her. You start looking at porn to get what you need and then your sex life is non-existent. So you see the problem there. That is getting you nowhere. You lead. You initiate. And when she does initiate, never turn her down. There might be more, but my plane is landing and I have to turn off my computer. This article was originally published here and is used with permission. Nice try, decent web site. It would be so much easier than figuring out the opposite sex. But this is so aggravating the double standard. Very easy to see why you never get laid. You get turned down because there is something you are not doing right. Figure it out instead of whining and shooting down possible answers. Thats a bs answer. I agree, Me my GF was on Amizingly God terms, and I turned myself and did 6 months in jail for a chargey she originally caught. She lookedllike she been to Hell and barely made it back. We would kiss, begin dry humping,whenever it would get intense she would create an akward situation or moment. I think some of these points are valid…. Pretty much the complete flip opposite to men — You need to tap into her emotional side. Andros not true, i dont need emotional bs that you mentioned. I look at sex as a chore. I would rather sleep or clean than have sex. Some people have more inportant things to do. Every other day???? Man…id be in heaven. We average about 10 times…in a year! Its been this way for 30 years. Women hold the power and they know it. The number of times a couple has sex is determined by the spouse with the lower sex drive…normally the woman. Why do you think there is so much interest in sports,fishing , hunting, NASCAR, strip bars, golfing…men are trying to fill their time with things that take their minds off of not getting sex. Women want romance…. Her live language is gifts and she gets everything she wants, I need one thing and have told her that and get zero! Cause you want to stay pure and trustworthy and yet is hard! I am too tired. It isn't any blasted fun. There it is. The elephant in the room. Women are more likely to want to have sex when an orgasm is involved and too often, it is not. For reasons unknown, the female orgasm has been shrouded in a cloak of mystery and unattainability. In case you were wondering, the cloak is made of polyester and really doesn't breathe well. I have to lay the blame for the perpetuation of this myth at the feet of men. I believe the accepted reasoning goes something like this: I am sorry. I couldn't help myself. I had a professor that once gave the perfect description of the differences between the two sexes, ahem, "get up and go. Locate the switch, turn it on and let there be light. Professor then said female sexual arousal and orgasm was more like flying a plane. Once you get in the cock pit you have to flip switches and buttons in the right sequence in order to prepare for takeoff. The process is slightly more involved and yes, you have to get a feel for it. But once you do Oh my gosh, I hope my Dad stopped reading two paragraphs ago. Don't be intimidated. At any given moment most men can explain the rules behind the BCS, know what is happening under the hood of their favorite car and quote stats from sports people only care about when the Olympics comes around. That is the only skill needed here. No magic involved. Educate yourself. Read a few books. Ask her questions. Women have been having orgasms since, you know, there were women. The how to's are not a secret. Don't be embarrassed. There is nothing cringe inducing about making your wife and her needs a priority. You are learning together and my goodness, could you ask for a better lesson plan? Practice makes perfect. I hate to say it. Your 'me time' becomes showering and going to the toilet with the door closed if you're lucky! I totally understand you feeling like you are just house mates looking after your kids because I often feel the same way. I just wasn't sure what to do about it because I really felt like the problem was with me. I wanted to change the dynamic and bring the romance back, but I honestly just didn't like him touching me, kissing me or giving me any physical affection. The exception was hugging, and especially snuggling in bed at night. This brought me comfort and helped me feel safe and loved without the pressure of sex or romance. So much of it is all in my head and I am trying really hard to work on myself and just do the physical affection thing sometimes, even when I don't feel like it. I have a suspicion that my low libido could also be hormone related as a result of all the hormones of pregnancy, breastfeeding etc. I spoke to my mother's group about this and many of them said they are too tired and hardly ever do it. One couple has started having sex as soon as they put their baby to bed at night so they are not too tired. I'm going to try that next. Another said that she doesn't miss sex unless they are having it regularly to begin with. I can definitely relate as I generally enjoy sex and never regret having it, but it's still not enough to make me want it the next time without really convincing myself that I will enjoy it. Lots of us also found that sex was a bit uncomfortable after having a baby and it took a long time to get better largely hormone related. I will be talking to my GP about that too, though it's definitely better now than the first 6 months or so after birth. She probably knows it's a problem and probably feels really bad about it like I do, but there are so many demands of her at this stage, she might not have anything left in the tank for you at the end of the day, other than being civil and practically helping each other. It won't last forever or be an excuse forever, but can I reiterate that she needs your patience, comfort and affirmation you are likely the only one in a position to comment on how good a job she is doing and your supportive words mean a lot at this time. I think talking to a counsellor is a great idea for you and hopefully they can give you some ideas about how you could approach this with your wife, and when the time might be right to do that, and what you could change about yourself in the meantime though not blaming you at all. I really hope that you find a counsellor who can listen and offer some advice. It can be hard to find one who suits you, but it's definitely worth giving it a go. I hope this has been helpful and I will let you know if I think of anything else that might be useful to know. Hang in there and definitely don't have an affair in the meantime can't believe people even suggested that! It is great you have started this thread, many will benefit. I don't have more to say except, I know exactly how you are feeling, I have experienced the same thing. It's a bit of a roller coaster, am I worthy, has she stopped loving me, it is a challenge to find some compromise. One thing I have learnt, you cannot control anyone else, only your self. In my case my partner had several events and mental health issues that combined to turn her off sex. So essentially, I'm not going to pressure a unwell person to do it, that would be very wrong. So it has become a personal challenge, to be happy to be with my partner, without much sex. It's not her fault and it's not mine. I have had to take a look at myself to know that I am desirable and I constantly have to ensure I am doing the things that I know are right, like all the other forms of intimacy, without any expectation. It's not easy but you have to stay true to yourself. Try and shift your focus to the things that your wife will do, reassign some importance and value to these things. Thankyou so much for your posts Alice in Wonderland. You have given me a really good insight into the female perspective. I think that my wife is feeling very much the same way. I know she is definitely exhausted and has no time or energy for sex. What I need to do is to find a way of not beating myself up about it! I feel very guilty at the moment about everything. For example, yesterday was mother's day and I really wanted to spoil my wife and have a nice day together and as a family but it didn't happen. I had to work I am a shift worker and work weekends and all kinds of hours. Yesterday I started work at in the morning so I was up at 5am. Didn't get to get her brekky in bed or anything like that. Worked until half past one then had to swing by and see my own mother for mother's day. It was 4pm by the time I got home. We had planned to go to Fremantle for dinner and take the kids to the park but she was too tired and said it was too late. Then we planned to have a picnic at a local park but they were burning off yesterday and it was smoked out so we ended up staying home and having takeaway. It was such an ordinary day. And I blamed myself for it. By 8pm she had gone to bed. Think that answers your post Mrs Dools. It certainly wasn't the day I had in mind. I try and be as supportive and helpful as I can but feel guilty even going to work and leaving her. I know someone has to work and earn an income but I feel like she needs me at home to cope. I do a lot of housework - dishes, vacuuming, washing, the gardens, pool the pets and help with the kids. But I still feel like it isn't enough. We have had a few cuddles and kisses but I certainly don't make it sexual or put any pressure on her. I am pretty sensitive, even though it may sound like all I care about is sex. That is not the case. Jacko thanks for your post too. Haven't seen the counsellor yet. Which reminds me - I might ring and make an appointment. I think a professional's perspective might really help. Hi Steve. You poor thing. You had it all planned so nicely then everything that could go wrong, did. Talk about Murphy's Law. I'm sure your wife doesn't blame you, if she does 'lash' out, it's probably just that she's worn out and needs to 'vent' and you just happened to be there. My hubby was a shift worker too, so my heart goes out to you. Could your or her mum help out with the kids, or won't they stay with anyone but you and mum. Kids can be 'clingy' at such a young age. Try not to feel guilty about circumstances beyond your control. I'm a great believer that when things are meant to be, they'll be without any 'force', for lack of another word, on our part. Some day you'll look back on these days and say 'remember when'. If your wife wants to cry from sheer frustration and tiredness, you're right to 'be there' and try to let her know she's loved. You're a warm, supportive husband. I'm sure she knows and appreciates this. Even if she doesn't seem to acknowledge it, I know one day, she will. I'm hoping your wife will appreciate it even if it is not happening on the dedicated "Mother's Day". My husband worked shift work hours for decades so I know that can be disruptive to a "normal" life style. But be careful in how you do this. Marriage is about giving. Jesus was our ultimate example in being a servant. A life sentence of celibacy can be a frightening life for someone who needs that connection with the one he loves and wants. I now know that I was wrong in what I did and what I expected of him. But I needed help to get past the mental torture I was experiencing, and it was wrong of me not to get it. He should understand how painful this is for me. And yes, as my marital partner, he should understand to a certain degree how painful this was for me. But I took it way beyond reasonable. And even if he tried to understand which he did , I still needed professional help to work through my issues. I was being unreasonable in my expectations of him. He married me in good faith that we would be marriage partners. Yet I was withdrawing an important connection in that partnership. And whether it was because of past abuse or whatever, it was not reasonable for me to ask my husband to stay pure and not be with me either. I feel that is true in most marriages unless there are untreatable physical reasons. He wants you and no one else. Please work on your issues. But do it with a good attitude. Be creative. The important thing is that you are together, as a man and wife. This is YOUR time to be together. There was a long, long unreasonably long season where I pulled back from being intimate with my husband. Eventually, I woke up and realized that I had a good guy that I married. I sought for, and received the emotional help I needed to work through my issues. We eventually came together, and have loved on each other since. The book, Sacred Sex: God showed me I am not to deny my husband when he needs to be close to me, whenever it is possible. My husband is a reasonable man and that has worked for us. I ask God to give me the desire. There is a spiritual component involved, when my husband and I are intimate together. I never knew that God would answer that type of prayer, but He does! How often have you done this? Is he due?.

I was taught growing up that sex was bad. Talk through this stuff. Talk about sex being a great thing. Something to celebrate. Its more than that. We live in a world where sex with your self masturbation has become the norm, and most men bring this into their marriage. Masturbation has taught you one thing: It leaves something out: You get off in your favorite position and think sex is all about what you like. If you approach sex like that? Guess what: She wants you on top not just behind her all the time.

My suggestion was to communicate. Listen to her. Let her be involved in what she likes, how she likes it, and let her reach orgasm. Really work to achieve this together and if not at the same time make sure both of you have the option. Oh, and one last bit of advice: I am not going to bore you with the crock pot vs. Women need to be touched, kissed, and hugged all the time, not just when you want action. This will go far. Trust me. My wife loves to have sex and I think click to see more have a great sex Wife doenst want to have sex.

I am going to recommend trying to have sex every other day. I have Wife doenst want to have sex married 15 years and that is an expectation and goal we both have Wife doenst want to have sex. I love 9pm-1am. My wife is done after about 9pm.

Guys, you might have to get on her schedule. These are the walls I talked about earlier. Some of them might not have anything to do with you, but some of them sure do. Pay attention to her.

Look for signals and ask. Run towards resolution and get in the sack. The devil is laughing when us married folks sleep in separate beds.

Have you told her you loved her? Have you told her she is beautiful? Have you told her she is sexy Wife doenst want to have sex you still get excited when she steps out of the shower naked? Show her, tell her, and keep the lights on once in a while during sex so you can remind her that you love looking at her. You start looking at Wife doenst want to have sex to get what you need and then your sex life is non-existent. So you see the problem there. That is getting you nowhere.

You lead. You initiate. And when she does initiate, never turn her down. There might be more, but my plane is landing and Source have to turn off my computer. This article was originally published here and is used with permission. Nice try, decent web site. It would be so much easier than figuring out the opposite sex.

Sexy kerber Watch Video Hmong pussy. We deal with many of those issues in other topics of this web site. Please search for them. There are so many reasons why a wife may want to say no to having sex with her husband. I sure did —probably because I have had to make similar decisions:. These issues are also addressed within other topics on this web site. Please seek and you will find. But I believe you will find inspiration and at least some help to make changes that are needed in intimately connecting with your marriage partner. Also, there is the problem of past abuse from other men and how it may be haunting you today. When your husband touches you it sends off memory triggers. These triggers may remind you of the horrible hurt you went through earlier in life. It may also have stripped your desire to have even a loving husband touch you. Healing an Emotional Wound. There may be other issues, such as addictions, and bitterness over marriage situations. Just so you know, we have articles on those issues on this web site, as well. I agree that there are seasons where we need to work on issues pertaining to our sex life together. The Bible tells us,. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Being intimate and exclusive with each other is all part of being married. Keep in mind that marriage is not all about you. This is a partnership. And just like your husband needs to work with you on compromises, you need to work with him on compromises too. But be careful in how you do this. Marriage is about giving. Jesus was our ultimate example in being a servant. A life sentence of celibacy can be a frightening life for someone who needs that connection with the one he loves and wants. I now know that I was wrong in what I did and what I expected of him. But I needed help to get past the mental torture I was experiencing, and it was wrong of me not to get it. He should understand how painful this is for me. And yes, as my marital partner, he should understand to a certain degree how painful this was for me. But I took it way beyond reasonable. And even if he tried to understand which he did , I still needed professional help to work through my issues. I was being unreasonable in my expectations of him. You know why…? So now I watch porn and masturbate,just so that i can be under the same roof as my kids….. I see no help insight as she seems happy with the status quo,but for me….. Only you can change your situation…. I am a young wife at 21 and my husband is Unfortunately we were not celibate before we were married but enjoyed an active sex life before he went into the army when I was Afterwards, his libido diminished greatly and to this day, I would gladly make love to my husband once or twice every day while he is satisfied with twice a week. Have you any advice for wives who have a higher sex drive than their husbands? It seems that every bit of advice out there is for wives with lower sex drives. What hurts the most is that when he does…it becomes all about him. Thank you so much for your advise and simple way of making things for me it truly does feel like if were to be speaking to my sister in God I truly do appreciate you ministry and I will pray for you and it Am a new follower of you work and it has change my life for the best I want to become more Christ-like not only for me but for the world around me, so they see me as a better more Godly person and you have sure taken me there Thank you so much once again May God Bless you always and may your ministry grow to help others as it has help me!!! Omission from your article: HE has physical issues. ED is a very common and serious condition that many couples have to deal with. And the medications a. Very very frustrating for a woman who has a good sex drive. Very frustrating. Try to seek some form of intimacy with your man in spite of his physical condition. Jolene, Thank you so much for sharing your heart and being so vulnerable. Just found you from a friend on Facebook and subscribed. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words, Julie! It is my hope and prayer that the Lord will strengthen all women come to this online ministry. He hated sex, me and all married life, I was disgusting to suggest that we have sex. We did on our wedding night and to him it was the last straw. The next day he moved to our basement where he eats, sleeps and does what ever he does. I am 43 and he is We have been married for 4 years and have 2 small boys. We have only had sex when I wanted to get pregnant. I can count on one hand how many times we have had sex otherwise. I would do it every day plus I take care of the house and kids. I also work full time and contribute as much as he does financially. We have tried counseling and he just provides excuses for his selfish behavior. He is not even nice to us. I can take care of the 3 of us myself. I have been married 5 years this last July. I love my wife deeply. April 2 years ago we decided to try for our first and we suffered a miscarriage in the second month. However, after the miscarriage it is non existent. We have been intimate once in over two years and she cried herself to sleep afterwards. Being scared she would get pregnant again. I'm not saying sex is the same as working, I am saying that a major and unexplained change has occurred in your relationship and you are allowed to ask why. You need to realise that if she is suffering depression or anxiety she will be reluctant to face it. No different to any other mental health issue. I think you should ask yourself where you expect to be in your relationship in, say, six months if some lines of communication haven't been opened by then? Hi again everyone. I had a talk with my wife about how I have been feeling and tried to express myself as best as I could but it didn't come out the way I wanted it to and she just fobbed it off again. She said sex isn't on her "list of priorities" at the moment. She minimised the fact that we have virtually no sex life, saying it has been due to the pregnancy and the birth, although it has been going on a lot longer than that. She said we will have sex again, when she is ready. I have no idea when that will be and by the sounds of it neither does she. I told her that I am not going to initiate anything because I don't like being rejected and I am going to wait for her. I think I might be waiting a long time. Hi Steven, another thought springs to mind re: You've had 3 kids. Did she have easy pregnancies each time. What about the births? Is it possible, she's 'sore' there. Sometimes lack of Eostrogen can 'dry' a woman, making sex painful. Embarrassment can lead to her not wanting or being able to discuss it. Even discussing it with a G. P is difficult, especially if it's a male G. Maybe she is just tired because having kids can wear you out. How old are the kids? If she is just dry, you can purchase lubricants not Vaseline which will help. Again, a G. P is your best bet. Maybe a Gyneacologist, you can get a referral through your G. I just wanted to say, "you're not alone" I think this situation comes up a lot. It still doesn't mean it's easy to deal with. My sex life is in the same boat. I'm attracted to my wife, and would love to be intimate with her at least once a week. But my wife would probably go months or more without reaching towards me. Having to "make the move" every time, in a hundred different sensitive ways.. You wonder what it is about you, that is fundamentally so unattractive. Dan Savage is worth looking up, his podcasts speak very frankly about sex and relationships. He is very practical. His point is generally that a relationship is an ongoing conversation, it doesn't have to be one type or the other, as long as it works. But if its not working, it needs to be talked about. What I feel for you, is that your wife is neglecting a fundamental way that you gain acceptance and self-worth. If your wife was complaining that you never compliment her, and you continued to refuse to do so What Dan Savage points out, and I think is a very good point, is it doesn't have to be about penis-vagina sex, I presume what you really want is a sexual kind of attention.. That conversation is hard, and I'm certainly not there yet with my partner. Dan Savage even suggests that you might remain committed to the relationship, but agree to seek sex outside the marriage. That seems a radical concept to me, but I understand where he is coming from. It's a very practical idea that might just work if everyone agreed. Thanks emdan. I know I am not the only one in this situation but it is nice to actually hear that other people are going through the same thing. My wife would never agree to me having sex with other people. I mentioned it to her a long time ago and she shut it down. I understand why though. You are right, I am not just interested in quick "in and out" sex, but want the intimacy involved in actually making love. Lately we never even kiss, hold hands or anything. The other day she sent me an sms and called me her sexy hubby. I said to her that made me feel good and would love it if she would pay me compliments like that more often. She said she will but I guess I will just have to wait and see. She never says stuff like that normally. I think she is sensing that I am feeling lonely and unloved. Thanks for your post too Pipsy. We actually have 2 kids. We have two sons, aged 3 and 6 weeks. Yes she is tired and I understand that, however our sex issues have been going on far longer than during her pregnancy and since baby came along. Her first pregnancy was a natural birth and she recovered well. The most recent one was a caessarian. I understand that there is a period of recovery involved after a c section. My husband had testicular cancer over 10 years ago. To cut a long story short, he never recovered his sex drive, even when using Viagra and all kinds of medications and aids. Our sex life stopped. He told me that if he was unable to have sex, then why should I have any pleasure! That is the way it has been. We don't even hold hands anymore, let alone kiss or cuddle. He doesn't even like me to sit next to him on the lounge. I have tried talking to him over the years, but he says there is nothing to discuss. I feel that he just pushes me away all of the time and then he wonders why I feel depressed and lonely. End of last year I had a breakdown and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks. I told him I wanted a divorce, that I wanted to leave. He told me we would work things out. We went to a couple's counsellor once and he thought that was enough. Nothing was really addressed. I am still here, because on my wage I can't afford to live alone. We are in a region where houses take years to sell so that isn't much of an option and neither of us can afford to pay each other out. We rarely kiss or do affectionate things couples typically do. Its painful, and I hate it. We do have random spurts where we have a lot of sex and then as mysteriously as it starts it stops. Its all but impossible to talk to her about it with out her getting angry. Really tired of the pain of feeling unloved, and the physical need for sex starts to hurt after a while too. And one other thing. Ignorance is not a viable excuse for her. Unbelievably painful to hear stuff like that from the women who vowed to love me the rest of my life! Many women refuse sex because their man is looking at instamodels, porn, coworkers on fb, etc. Anna, I think if your man is looking at porn, there is something to be said, but I would question why he is looking at porn. Maybe he has no confidence that your being reciprocal is not as obvious as you think. Apparently this is a common problem with no resolve. Men are left with the annoying burden of reprogramming our natural desire to simply have sex unabated. Hell, this post might as well promote prostitution and strip clubs…. No wonder countries that practice polygamy have higher success marriage success rates. Not really. As women age they lose their sex drives-just like men become impotent. Its natures way to focus on what matters, kids, gradnkids etc etc. Now, the average is zero. I am going insane i think. I am an emotional wreck and I have reached the crossroads in my life where i have to make the decision to fix my failing marriage or press the reset button and start anew. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Im a woman. And Im a Christian. My husband never initiates. He doesnt musturbate either. Its basically as though he doesnt like it. The Bible says a man should lead the wife. He does not lead. I try to do my humanly best to respect him and be loyal. I never bad mouth him , train our children to respect him as the main authority. He never grew up in an atmosphere where the man is number one in the home. He is uncomfortable being in charge. I only learned about proper Christian roles a year and a half ago. I am learning and growing and he is still upset with me as like a little child. And I am not just talking birthdays and anniversaries. Although I would strongly suggest you don't forget those. Of course, every now and then remember to bring home your wife's favorite flower or a packet of those pens she loves or tickets to that concert she mentioned a few months back. It is amazing what the simplest gesture will do for a woman that loves you. Also remember who your sweetheart is, remember where she hopes to go, who she hopes to become. And then on the days when the world gets too big and the rooms are too small she can call on you and you can help her remember, too. It is amazing what striving to understand the woman you love will do for the life you have together. You need to say thank you. It can be a tiring place, this happily ever after. Yes, there is love and there are kitchen dances and sweet cream baby cheeks. But there are also sleepless nights and mortgages and post baby stretch marks. Thank her for every long day and long night. Thank her for every smile and laugh out loud. Thank her for your babies. Thank her for the dreams she pursues and the ones she puts on hold. Gratitude is often an action. Show it by washing the dishes, playing with her hair, giving her time and holding her hand. But every once in a while knock her socks off by actually saying, "Thank you. Those three things! That is romance! That is courtship! That is love! And you know what gets women hot? Take her out on a date at least twice a month. Put on spiffy clothes and take her to a restaurant, museum, movie or stroll around downtown. Open her door and put your hand on the small of her back. Be the boy she fell in love with and she will be the girl that made your heart race. Making out in the car before driving home while optional is strongly suggested. If you want your wife to treat you like a man, you have to act like a man. Your wife did not marry you in order to raise you. She does not live to wash your dishes, pick up your socks or put the kids to bed by herself while you watch the game for "just five more minutes. You are not her project or responsibility..

But this is so aggravating the double standard. Very easy to see why you never get laid. You get turned down because there is something you are not doing right. Figure it out instead of whining and shooting down possible answers. Thats a bs answer. I agree, Me my Wife doenst want to have sex was on Amizingly God terms, and I turned myself and did 6 months in jail for a chargey she originally caught.

She lookedllike she been to Hell and barely made it back. We would kiss, begin dry humping,whenever it would get intense she would create an akward situation or moment. I think some of these points are valid…. Pretty much the complete flip opposite to men Philippine swingers You need to tap into her emotional side.

Andros not true, i dont need emotional bs that Wife doenst want to have sex mentioned.

Sexvbo Com Watch Video Fuckng pics. We encourage you to read this article and comments posted below it. Sheila does a great job in explaining things:. When Your Wife Hates Sex. Neil Black, on the web site, Power to Change , wrote the following articles, which you may find helpful:. I realize that this is a complex issue for the wife who is denying her husband, as well. There are so many reasons why you may not want to make love to your husband. Some of these reasons may be lack of desire, his cleanliness, his demanding, abusive, controlling ways, which turn you off when you consider having any physical contact with him. And then there are pornography issues —either his or yours. Satisfaction is being achieved through false, sinful entertainment. We deal with many of those issues in other topics of this web site. Please search for them. There are so many reasons why a wife may want to say no to having sex with her husband. I sure did —probably because I have had to make similar decisions:. These issues are also addressed within other topics on this web site. Please seek and you will find. But I believe you will find inspiration and at least some help to make changes that are needed in intimately connecting with your marriage partner. Also, there is the problem of past abuse from other men and how it may be haunting you today. When your husband touches you it sends off memory triggers. These triggers may remind you of the horrible hurt you went through earlier in life. It may also have stripped your desire to have even a loving husband touch you. Healing an Emotional Wound. There may be other issues, such as addictions, and bitterness over marriage situations. Just so you know, we have articles on those issues on this web site, as well. I agree that there are seasons where we need to work on issues pertaining to our sex life together. The Bible tells us,. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Being intimate and exclusive with each other is all part of being married. Keep in mind that marriage is not all about you. This is a partnership. And just like your husband needs to work with you on compromises, you need to work with him on compromises too. But be careful in how you do this. Marriage is about giving. Good luck Steven1. The real world of marriage is the one you create - whatever that turns out to be. Have you tried pampering your wife and making her feel like a princess? Is there any one who could take the children for a half day so you can have the time together? My husband has totally repelled me from his life and does not like any physical touch at all. It has shattered my heart to think our marriage has come to this, so I do understand a bit about how you are feeling. I stumbled across your post and am so glad I did. You are definitely not alone! My husband is in the same boat as you and I am in a similar position to your wife though we only have an 18 month old boy at this stage. We are the same age as you and have been married for 10 years, together for The similarities were kind of freaky as I read through your original post. I had to finish reading it to make sure it wasn't my husband posting this! I feel really sorry for you, just as I do for my husband. I don't have answers, but am hoping that by sharing my thoughts you might get the same kind of insight into your wife's perspective as I got into my husband's perspective through reading your post. I gather that in the last 5 months that you haven't had sex your wife has been heavily pregnant and in the postnatal period. I can say that it gets pretty uncomfortable at the end of pregnancy, apart from how absolutely exhausted she must be feeling chasing a toddler and now caring for a newborn as well. I can imagine your frustration, but she needs your support, understanding and patience to get her through this time with her sanity intact. My husband is a fantastic support and gets up at night, shares chores whenever he's home etc. We probably had sex once or twice a month in that time and have only just started stepping it up further because I knew how important it was in a relationship, not because I ever felt like it. I want to say that I absolutely love him and am so grateful that he is the father of my child, but I just don't feel like having sex most of the time since I've had my baby. We don't have time for it in the morning before our baby wakes up and by the time we get around to it at night I'm usually too exhausted and just want to crawl into bed to SLEEP. I find it hard to get myself in the mood because I'm just thinking about how soon I can get to bed and what I need to do to make that happen. I don't feel like being physically active when I'm that tired and I have constant lists running through my head about all the things I have to do as a mother and 'house keeper'. Being a mother in the early years can be all consuming and it's really hard to switch from being 'mum' to 'wife' and especially 'lover'. I'm not justifying it and I think if it goes on too long it will be extremely detrimental to the relationship, but I'm trying to explain how it feels to be wanted in so many different ways physical, emotional, sexual, practical by different people. Your 'me time' becomes showering and going to the toilet with the door closed if you're lucky! I totally understand you feeling like you are just house mates looking after your kids because I often feel the same way. I just wasn't sure what to do about it because I really felt like the problem was with me. I wanted to change the dynamic and bring the romance back, but I honestly just didn't like him touching me, kissing me or giving me any physical affection. The exception was hugging, and especially snuggling in bed at night. This brought me comfort and helped me feel safe and loved without the pressure of sex or romance. So much of it is all in my head and I am trying really hard to work on myself and just do the physical affection thing sometimes, even when I don't feel like it. I have a suspicion that my low libido could also be hormone related as a result of all the hormones of pregnancy, breastfeeding etc. I spoke to my mother's group about this and many of them said they are too tired and hardly ever do it. One couple has started having sex as soon as they put their baby to bed at night so they are not too tired. I'm going to try that next. Another said that she doesn't miss sex unless they are having it regularly to begin with. I can definitely relate as I generally enjoy sex and never regret having it, but it's still not enough to make me want it the next time without really convincing myself that I will enjoy it. Lots of us also found that sex was a bit uncomfortable after having a baby and it took a long time to get better largely hormone related. I will be talking to my GP about that too, though it's definitely better now than the first 6 months or so after birth. She probably knows it's a problem and probably feels really bad about it like I do, but there are so many demands of her at this stage, she might not have anything left in the tank for you at the end of the day, other than being civil and practically helping each other. It won't last forever or be an excuse forever, but can I reiterate that she needs your patience, comfort and affirmation you are likely the only one in a position to comment on how good a job she is doing and your supportive words mean a lot at this time. I think talking to a counsellor is a great idea for you and hopefully they can give you some ideas about how you could approach this with your wife, and when the time might be right to do that, and what you could change about yourself in the meantime though not blaming you at all. I really hope that you find a counsellor who can listen and offer some advice. It can be hard to find one who suits you, but it's definitely worth giving it a go. I hope this has been helpful and I will let you know if I think of anything else that might be useful to know. Hang in there and definitely don't have an affair in the meantime can't believe people even suggested that! It is great you have started this thread, many will benefit. I don't have more to say except, I know exactly how you are feeling, I have experienced the same thing. It's a bit of a roller coaster, am I worthy, has she stopped loving me, it is a challenge to find some compromise. One thing I have learnt, you cannot control anyone else, only your self. In my case my partner had several events and mental health issues that combined to turn her off sex. So essentially, I'm not going to pressure a unwell person to do it, that would be very wrong. So it has become a personal challenge, to be happy to be with my partner, without much sex. It's not her fault and it's not mine. I have had to take a look at myself to know that I am desirable and I constantly have to ensure I am doing the things that I know are right, like all the other forms of intimacy, without any expectation. It's not easy but you have to stay true to yourself. Try and shift your focus to the things that your wife will do, reassign some importance and value to these things. Thankyou so much for your posts Alice in Wonderland. You have given me a really good insight into the female perspective. I think that my wife is feeling very much the same way. I know she is definitely exhausted and has no time or energy for sex. What I need to do is to find a way of not beating myself up about it! I feel very guilty at the moment about everything. For example, yesterday was mother's day and I really wanted to spoil my wife and have a nice day together and as a family but it didn't happen. I had to work I am a shift worker and work weekends and all kinds of hours. Yesterday I started work at in the morning so I was up at 5am. Didn't get to get her brekky in bed or anything like that. Worked until half past one then had to swing by and see my own mother for mother's day. It was 4pm by the time I got home. We had planned to go to Fremantle for dinner and take the kids to the park but she was too tired and said it was too late. Then we planned to have a picnic at a local park but they were burning off yesterday and it was smoked out so we ended up staying home and having takeaway. It was such an ordinary day. And I blamed myself for it. By 8pm she had gone to bed. Think that answers your post Mrs Dools. It certainly wasn't the day I had in mind. I try and be as supportive and helpful as I can but feel guilty even going to work and leaving her. I know someone has to work and earn an income but I feel like she needs me at home to cope. I do a lot of housework - dishes, vacuuming, washing, the gardens, pool the pets and help with the kids. We created the site just for you! I do as much if not more around the house and am a great father. I could go on, but I have to sleep so I can plow snow all day tomorrow. This is not how God intended a marriage to be like. My Cituation is different. I found out that my wife was hiding things from me: She did not have any kids or home as it was a long distance relationship when the agreement was no other people but family could be on her account. Now, it had being 4 weeks since she has being avoiding me to have sex and now we are in a divorce process due to all the crap she was hiding from me with all kinds of excuses. Sadly we have a 12, 6 years old and she is 30 weeks pregnat which due to all the crap we have being going through and all the lies I am suspecting the baby might not even be mine because it consides with the time she was on jury duty. Man, this cituacion truly sucks and the trust and respect is not longer there. I was sooo exhausted that at times I would accidentally fall asleep during the act and still he refused to understand. He would either get upset, sulk or pick a fight when I was tired. What really broke my heart was that he continued watching porn even though we were doing it almost every day, and showed no remorse for his actions even after knowing how much it hurt me. We had so much sex that I went to preterm labor. He even had the nerve to get upset when I kept telling him that I was in pain. I was torn and emotionally broken by then.. Physical scars may heal but emotional scars lasts forever and women are emotional creatures by nature. Always win her heart. Yet he sees nothing wrong and feels it is ALL my fault! Prayers fir us both! This is good. Society owes you a sexual servant and your wife is the woman selected to take on that servitude. Your wife is completely absent from your life, the marriage, and any consideration in hour sex life. She should settle for a life time of obligation pity sex. My husband could have written you post. He too does hard manual labor, but in triple digit heat because we live in farm country in California. He also only watches the kids at whim and refuses to commit to watching them on a certain date or time when he is off. Substitute doing landing scaping in the heat for plowing snow, and my husband could have written your post word for word. Sometimes divorce or sepetation and individual counseling for both people, maybe leading up to marriage counseling once the control issues are gone is a better response from a wife than expecting her to have sex because a man works and brushes his teeth. I believe some times a persons heart can become so hardened that even the Lord Jesus Christ can not reach them. I used to be a believer, not sure any more. I married a non believer because she was nicer than any christian I ever met. I have the god given right to tell her that she has a sexy ass, or boobs. I believe there is a lot of value in having a healthy sex life as a married couple. I am not Dr Phil and I can not fix her or make her desire me. Everytime I tried to leave he would tell me he would kill me and no one would find me. Brenda, My heart grieves for what you have lived through. As Believers, we have not been given a spirit of fear but of sound mind. You are also permitted to divorce your husband since he has been unfaithful. Matthew Read a few books. Ask her questions. Women have been having orgasms since, you know, there were women. The how to's are not a secret. Don't be embarrassed. There is nothing cringe inducing about making your wife and her needs a priority. You are learning together and my goodness, could you ask for a better lesson plan? Practice makes perfect. I hate to say it. But to get good at sex you need to have a lot of sex. I know, such a burden. Alright, so maybe you haven't been at the top of your game the past few hours, days, weeks, months or, ahem, years. One of the purest joys of life is our ability to change for the better. Start now. Leave the TV off, take a break from the video games and postpone that camping trip. You have work to do and what a great work it is. Also on HuffPost:. Real Life. Real News. Real Voices. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. News Politics Entertainment Communities. HuffPost Personal Videos Horoscopes. Part of HuffPost News. All rights reserved. Skip to Article. Now, on to the things you need to do, haven't done and can learn with flair. Hello again, sir. How are you doing? Did I say orgasm too many times? I am so sorry. Also on HuffPost: Have you told her she is sexy and you still get excited when she steps out of the shower naked? Show her, tell her, and keep the lights on once in a while during sex so you can remind her that you love looking at her. You start looking at porn to get what you need and then your sex life is non-existent. So you see the problem there. That is getting you nowhere. You lead. You initiate. And when she does initiate, never turn her down. There might be more, but my plane is landing and I have to turn off my computer. This article was originally published here and is used with permission. Nice try, decent web site. It would be so much easier than figuring out the opposite sex. But this is so aggravating the double standard. Very easy to see why you never get laid. You get turned down because there is something you are not doing right. Figure it out instead of whining and shooting down possible answers. Thats a bs answer. I agree, Me my GF was on Amizingly God terms, and I turned myself and did 6 months in jail for a chargey she originally caught. She lookedllike she been to Hell and barely made it back. We would kiss, begin dry humping,whenever it would get intense she would create an akward situation or moment. I think some of these points are valid…. Pretty much the complete flip opposite to men — You need to tap into her emotional side. Andros not true, i dont need emotional bs that you mentioned. I look at sex as a chore. I would rather sleep or clean than have sex. Some people have more inportant things to do. Every other day???? Man…id be in heaven. We average about 10 times…in a year! Its been this way for 30 years. Women hold the power and they know it. The number of times a couple has sex is determined by the spouse with the lower sex drive…normally the woman. Why do you think there is so much interest in sports,fishing , hunting, NASCAR, strip bars, golfing…men are trying to fill their time with things that take their minds off of not getting sex. Women want romance…. Her live language is gifts and she gets everything she wants, I need one thing and have told her that and get zero!.

I look at sex as a chore. I would rather sleep or clean than have sex.

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Some people have more inportant things to do. Every other day???? Man…id be in heaven.

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We average about 10 times…in a year! Its been this way for 30 years. Women hold the power and they know it. The number of times a couple has sex is determined by the spouse with the lower sex drive…normally the woman. Why do you think there click at this page so much interest in sports,fishinghunting, NASCAR, strip bars, golfing…men are trying to fill their time with things that take their minds off of not getting sex.

Women want romance…. Her live language is gifts and she gets everything she wants, I need one thing and have told her that and get zero! Cause you want to stay pure and trustworthy and yet is hard! Another guy here who gives very honest effort to make his wife happy — helping around the house, involved in the kids life, I provide a nice house and no need and she stays home to home school the kids.

Her go here language is acts of service and I help every single day. We go on vacations, she drives the car she wants. Im kind and caring and dont say mean things or get mad easily. We rarely kiss or do affectionate things couples typically do. Its painful, and I hate it. We do have random spurts where we have a lot of sex and then as mysteriously as it starts it stops.

Its all but impossible to talk to her about it with out her getting angry. Really tired of the pain of feeling unloved, and the Wife doenst want to have sex need for sex starts to hurt after a while too. And one other thing. Ignorance is not a viable excuse for Wife doenst want to have sex. Unbelievably painful to hear stuff Wife doenst want to have sex that from the women who vowed to love me the rest of my life! Many women refuse sex because their man is looking at instamodels, porn, coworkers on fb, etc.

Anna, I think if your man is looking at porn, there is something to be said, but I would question why he is looking at porn. Maybe he has no confidence that your being reciprocal is not as obvious as you think.

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